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101 things we've learned from videogames

The wisdom of our favorite pastime, applied to real life

Words: PC Zone UK

62. On the whole, you can withstand a lot more bullets/punches/magic compared to the other guy.

63. Always shut the door behind you, especially if it looks like it might snow later on.


64. You don’t need scintillating conversation get on in life. Two-word commands will do fine.

65. Many, if not all, problems can be solved with a Holy Hand Grenade.

66. Being on the goodies’ side doesn’t automatically make you winners of The War.

67. You can up your bank balance $1,000 at a time by chanting ‘FUND’.

68. Kick enough puppies and you’ll eventually gain the strength, wisdom and dexterity to take on ninjas.

69. Food can heal most serious injuries instantly.

70. Even cyborgs/ninjas/special agents able to smash whole cities with their fists and defeat the mightiest opponent in close combat are stumped when confronted with a locked door or box, and have to go find the key.

71. Music spontaneously plays whenever you do anything exciting.

72. Modern military training teaches that the best way to defeat an enemy is to stand stock still in plain view of the enemy and fire wildly. Making sinister noises to reveal your location is good, too.

73. If you notice a discolored section on a brick wall, try running up really close and pressing on it, for it may give way and lead you to a secret cache of weapons and armor.

74. Bullet holes will gradually disappear, foiling your attempts to draw a c--k and balls on the ground with a machine gun.

75. When you’ve run out of food and stuff, just leave the house and then go back in again.

76. When you kill people, sometimes they turn into food or money. Or some bullets.

77. You can travel anywhere instantly, as long as you’ve been there before.


78. When crawling along air-conditioning ducts, if you go forward and back a few times you may or may not see a pair of tits.

79. First aid kits can be applied to your injuries in under a second, and will instantly fix your injuries and make you healthier.

80. Flashlights only last for one minute, but thankfully recharge themselves over time.

81. If you’re in a castle looking for a lost loved one, they’re in another one.

82. If you’re good enough at trading/bartering – every single shop in the world will reduce their prices specially for you.


 
97 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
thereaper52  - 11 months 12 days ago 
first

every body does speak engrish
Vistyle  - 11 months 12 days ago 
^^^^To say everyone speaks english is a very ignorant statement.

I love these lists, they always entertain me for awhile when I'm bored.
MUSH-RUME  - 11 months 12 days ago 
Hooray for breast physics and tits in general . Also the fact about not being able to see your own feet is the greatest
oreomonkey  - 11 months 12 days ago 
"You can jump twice your own height, but water will kill you instantly."
LOL
oreomonkey  - 11 months 12 days ago 
WOW VISTYLE UR A RETARD IN VIDEO GAMES EVERYONE SPEAKS ENGLISH FOR SOME REASON SO YOUR IGNORANT
TrIp13G  - 11 months 12 days ago 
I'm pretty sure he was joking, Vistyle.
Crankr  - 11 months 12 days ago 
Are you kidding me? EVERYONE speaks english, even the guy who needs an translater. Most likely you dont know that until he shoots his translator and starts talkin all angry-like.

23 and 4 are my favorites.
Da-Ku  - 11 months 12 days ago 
...Best...List...EVER!
Slipknot_Boy  - 11 months 12 days ago 
sweet article G.R
I don't know any1 hu dusnt live their lives like that ^^:)
noobeater  - 11 months 12 days ago 
lol very very funnyi love it...tho maybe not the removing a 'fetid tampon from a shit filled toilet' hich to be honest is quite a bad job
noobeater  - 11 months 12 days ago 
biggest lol at: frogs die in water...just thought i'd add that
quicksilver_503  - 11 months 12 days ago 
very funny...but wrexham will never win the championship.
CarToons  - 11 months 12 days ago 
Life is so easy now!
Thanks GamesRadar!
Juriasu  - 11 months 12 days ago 
Ofcourse Ivy had to be in the article...
jimsondanet  - 11 months 12 days ago 
they forgot to mention that its perfectly acceptable to walk into somebodys home, take food and smash barrels before engaging occupants in idle conversation

or how easy it really is to carry 200+ pounds of equipment
unless of course your one pound over.
then you can barely walk.(if at all)

most soldiers can apparate weaponry from thin air
but only the same two weapons,
sometimes more tho
depends on the soldier

when shooting zombies you have to stand still
but thats ok
you have a laser sight

most police officers are willing to let murder slide
but only for a hundred

sometimes the recently departed are prone to seizures whilst attempting fussion into walls, floors and ceilings
jar-head  - 11 months 12 days ago 
This is Awesome!
CoD_22  - 11 months 12 days ago 
#102. If you dont do well a race, all of your opponents dont mind racing again and again so that you can win.
bron1417  - 11 months 12 days ago 
this made me laugh so hard nice job.
Defguru7777  - 11 months 12 days ago 
Sounds about right.
tsmits77  - 11 months 12 days ago 
74 is the best
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