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101 MORE things we've learned from games

Because gaming's got a whole lot more wisdom to go around

Words: Matthew Keast, GamesRadar US

41. If you come to a huge pile of junk blocking an alley, even though it looks easily climbable, don’t even bother. Obviously, this is the end of the universe.

42. Even though zombies are created by a virus, being bitten by one will never infect you. You may need to eat some commonly potted herbs to take care of the wound, though.

43. Wild animals are all extremely aggressive. When going into uncivilized areas, carry a gun and shoot everything that moves before it can attack you.

44. It’s pretty easy to kill twenty terrorists with your bare hands…

45. ...but forget about jumping over a two-foot sandbag.

46. Cops don’t care how many cars you smash into right in front of them, as long as it’s not theirs.

47. Cops don’t understand the concept of license plates. A fresh paint job will fool them every time.

48. Combined arms in war is not always the most effective strategy. Often massing a single type of unit is better.

49. An entire fortified outpost can be constructed in a matter of minutes, even directly in front of an enemy base and while under attack.

50. When establishing colonies in new lands, often the best approach is to train a few crack troops while scouting for potential threats, and then sending a small force to attack the closest town as quickly as possible. Be sure to order your troops to kill anyone carrying or building anything first.

51. A wooden stake is not, in fact, the weapon of choice when going up against vampires. A whip is.

52. If a person offers to pay you to go out and collect 20 widgets and then bring them back to him, it’s not a job, it’s entertainment.

53. Being a rock star doesn’t require creativity or talent, just dexterity and timing.

54. The spikier your hair, the more power you have.

55. Choosing one emotion and channeling it 24/7 counts as personality.

56. If your pseudo-philosophical babbling doesn’t appear effective in impressing someone, just pile on more jargon and bigger words. No one will notice.

57. Pausing for a long time between sentences isn’t awkward at all, and sounds totally natural, since everyone else does it.

58. Never trust the advice of someone helping you out of some dire situation via an earpiece or speaker system.

59. Every military, police, or Special Forces squad has one member that is smarter, more skilled, and harder to kill than the others.

60. Going through life-threatening experiences doesn’t just make you wiser, it also makes you stronger, faster, and increasingly impervious to harm.


 
103 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
dahudge8  - 10 months 23 days ago 
- Comment removed by Community
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dahudge8  - 10 months 23 days ago 
awesome article by the way, I lol'd
RonnyLive19881  - 10 months 23 days ago 
Anyone point out the numbers worth reading? I'm not going threw all 5 pages...
RonnyLive19881  - 10 months 23 days ago 
I hate the damn reCAPTCHA!
Taxtm  - 10 months 23 days ago 
"74. World War II was not won by numerous countries coordinating attacks across the globe, but rather by a single jack-hole with a gun. Said jack-hole’s identity varies depending on the source."

Out of curiosity, how many games have been made that revolve around WWII? I lost count...
ELpork  - 10 months 23 days ago 
62..ha.
TeragRunner  - 10 months 23 days ago 
I thought of one.
You can look in the direction your gun is pointing and no one will care if you pointing an automatic gun in their face.
TeragRunner  - 10 months 23 days ago 
Oh oops it was supposed to say

You can only look in the direction your gun is pointing and no one will care if you pointing an automatic gun in their face.
Airhead  - 10 months 23 days ago 
How about

If someone seems to be a friend he is an enemy, and vice-versa.

or

Shooting an enemy in the leg twice will kill him. HOWEVER unleashing 15 shotgun shells, 30 Uzi clips, 30 6-shot revolver rounds, 2 missles. 5 frag grenades, and 1 landmine on a buddy will not kill him.
camo510  - 10 months 23 days ago 
@ Airhead
lmao good one, agree 100%
camo510  - 10 months 23 days ago 
I have a few...

If you hold your breath u can hear your heartbeat and have perfect aim.

You can have hundreds of enemys after u at a time and will be able to handle all of them no problem

If u take damage and your view goes red just duck down and wait to return to normal

You can drive into a concrete lamp post and only take a few dents

You can be ejected 100 feet away from your vehicle and get up wihout a limp
Crossleft501  - 10 months 23 days ago 
haha I think 35 is my favorite
CptCHARLES  - 10 months 23 days ago 
How 'bout

If an enemy is slow than it is therefore strong, and if it is fast than it is weak.

or

In a zombie apocalypse there are military grade rifles lying(laying?) on tables.

or

If you are shot in the stomach with a shotgun, simply drinking a special beverage will heal any wounds completely.

or

If you take any damage just wait 5 seconds and you will be all healed up.

or

When the zombie apocalypse arrives every Joe Blow will know how to use and load an M16.

or

The coolest and most skilled buddy always dies in the end.

or

In WORLD war 2 only four countries were involved.

or

...that's it.
Defguru7777  - 10 months 23 days ago 
Here's one:
In RPGs, all eight people will conglomerate into one person, who can change his/her/it's appearance without plastic surgery equipment. Additionally, this does not count as getting laid :(
bamb0o-stick  - 10 months 23 days ago 
- If you are getting shot at by enemies around police, they will not help you. However if you fire back at your enemies, the police will join in attacking YOU as well.

- Getting gunned down, blown up, crushed, smashed and set on fire will not kill you. You'll wake up outside a hospital with all your possessions, but with a lighter wallet.

- Flying into Africa will give you malaria.

- There are always someone immune to a "zombie" -like epidemic. Good chance its you.

- All soldiers tend to look exactly the same. Don't ever look generic or you'll die first.

- Living in a hidden vault makes you a super-marksman who can pause time during attacks. You can also salvage a nuclear wasteland from being uninhabitable.
Tasty_Pasta  - 10 months 23 days ago 
Ahahaha! 38 is oh so true.
somthing42  - 10 months 23 days ago 
how about

drawing animal constellations in the sky will make the animal come down and give you magic powers.
Corsair89  - 10 months 23 days ago 
-You can clearly see vague lands and objects of in the distance but some invisible indestructable wall blocks you from advancing.
-If you and your entire existance looks cel-shaded, that means that the few beings who control your every move want other beings to experience your beautiful, artsy brillance but fail to convince the others about how great you are and are frustrated and blame the others in the fact that you won't be granted a 2nd adventure.
-If you are a boss, beware, because little pest that is trying to kill you kill see how much health you have left.
-Bosses are never EVER direct. They will attack in obvious, easily aviodable moves.
-If you get a boss half-way down on health, they will use a few new moves that are a bit stronger.
-There is ALWAYS music coming from seemingly nowhere and it constantly changes to fit the situation.
-You and everyone you know is shallow, has only one emotion, and is basically a walking steriotype.
-Someone you know will eventually betray you.
-Your ragtag group of warriors can single-handedly topple an empire.
-If your in an abandoned town that is perminantly fogged over, then don't worry because anything and everything that attacks you is only in your mind.
-Five colored buttons can make an infinite amount of guitar notes and chords.
-Pinatas are actually living creature. You barbarian.
-If your car crashes, explodes, whatever, it will perfectly be restored in seconds so you can continue racing.
-Ostriches can fly and are good for jousting.
-Everyone you kill will disappear shorty.
-The legends are ALWAYS completely true and you will eventually have beat the odds and overcome it.

-
Xizor14  - 10 months 23 days ago 
Funny as crap. I lol'd every time!
Xizor14  - 10 months 23 days ago 
I am so bookmarking this.
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