So here are the worst trailers from E3. The kind of thing that makes us wish we had started up that petting zoo instead of taking the plunge into video game journalism. The good news is, you don't have to buy these games. But we will make you watch the trailers. All the way through. Mwahahahaha...
Wheel of Fortune
What... oh god... kill it. KILL IT! That was our reaction when we first saw this. Big-headed characters can be cute. Remember Anna Kournikova's Smash Court Tennis? Or Virtua Fighter Kids? Whoever made this doesn't. And the less said about the way they've advertised the game's 'features' the better. Spin the wheel with the Wii-mote? How about: 'Press the eject button and win at life!'
It's really, really kind of them to give us so much ammo for ridicule. The Ali G look-alike and his slide-forward to his position in front of the screen. The crowd of cheering girls that greet the men who are dressed up like idiots, which would NEVER happen in real life in this non-ironic manner. And the less said about the guy pretending to ski the better. It's awful. But you know what the worst thing is? For a minute, I wondered why I couldn't see a Wii-mote anywhere. There's a good reason - this is aKinect game for Xbox 360. What a rip-off - they should be ashamed.
Six and a half minutes. That's how much of my life I just wasted watching this trailer. Once you've seen the first screen, you've seen the whole thing. You're asked a question, you pick an anwser and colour in a faceless person with the answer's coloured crayon until their face resembles how you feel. Stupidly, you can use equal quantities of 'often' and 'rarely', which is just nonsense. And the repetition of the task, coupled with the nightmarish faces you create, results in one of the most disturbing things we've ever had to sit through. Yuk.
Want to make it worse? Watch this for a few minutes...
...until the music is stuck in your head, then look at the picture below. Seriously, that's horrific.
Above: Quite possibly the most grotesque image we've ever run on Radar
It looks like every other Wii Sports game around! Only you can play online with people from across the country. Not the world, the entire country. Wow. Looks rubbish.