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E3 09: The Top 7... crushing letdowns in E3 history

A quick list of bad decisions. The guy who sold the rights to the Beatles. Steve Irwin deciding it would probably be a good idea to swim a bit closer to a miffed stingray. A company that once ruled gaming thinking it would be fine to give time at their E3 press conference – where they absolutely had to convince people the PS3 was a revolutionary machine worth 600 dollars - to a giant crustacean, pie graphs and the PSP.


Above: The power of PS3, definitely worth 600 bucks

We could delve into the plethora of giant enemy crab and massive damage raps doing the rounds on YouTube. But the poor Genji developer, who was utterly convinced battles in feudal Japan centered around soldiers trying to flip sea-life with swords, deserves a lie down. No, the real letdown was the focus of the conference. When PlayStation head honcho, Kaz Harai, should have been shouting from the rooftops about PS3’s Blu-ray functionality or bigging up Resistance and MotorStorm, he was actually showing ten minutes of PS2 sales graphs and promoting PS3/PSP compatibility with…

Notice a running motif through this Top 7? Say something to do with a certain year between 2007 and 2009. Yup, last year’s E3 truly was the event of death… or bitter disappointment, resentment and impromptu man bonding over a hand drier with Clifford Bleszinski in the bathroom. Apart from meager rays of light in the few genuinely innovative IPs like Left4Dead, the whole thing was a crushing disappointment.

Above: Genuinely the best thing at E3 2008

Without a marquee announcement of a new Half-Life or proper GTA to capture the limelight, all hope was put on the big three to deliver interesting games that could fill the Freeman-shaped crater in us. While Gears 2, Animal Crossing: City Folk and Resistance 2 all briefly appeased jaded eyeballs, the general direction each company took, combined with the show’s understated scale, made this arguably the worst E3 ever.


Above: No Gordon and loads of Cammie - a real winning E3 combo

Both Nintendo and Mircosoft also gave baffling amounts of time to middle-aged execs trying to sell casual gamers shovelware. Whether it was watching a woman crooning on-stage trying to peddle Lips or Cammie Dunaway attempting to put a surgically sewed-on smile for the utterly pump WiiMusic. Jack Tretton, at Sony, meanwhile, was possessed by the spirit of a stuttering child trying to deliver a book report in their underwear. Embarrassing, lacking innovation and totally lifeless, if this year’s E3 is anything like 2008 we’re ditching games to write about gardening. We hear there's a good chrysanthemum convention coming up in July.

June 1st, 2009


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A look at gaming's biggest event



E3 08: Excruciating Moments
13 low points to make you cringe

Topics

Top 7

49 comments

  • wiitard07 - June 22, 2010 7:01 p.m.

    Loled at that picture with mario gettin buckshot to the brain. (I love mario but i just thought it was funny and completely true to what ninty did)
  • Jalygtra - June 8, 2010 10:56 a.m.

    Giant enemy crab!
  • twewy13 - June 8, 2010 12:13 a.m.

    loloololol RIDGE RACER!
  • disturbedanomaly39 - June 8, 2009 1:28 a.m.

    ha ha, reggie and his suck ass wii music, one wii game i told everyone i knew not to buy or they would end up like chris with that crack-driven chainsaw guy on RE5, with me actualy wearing a burlap sack on my head nice article, and i lied when i said i would oly comment on two articles concernig e3 ReCaptcha: damn, did i read this one late
  • 360nerd - June 8, 2009 1:09 a.m.

    ahahahahaha the psp/ds thing, thats like giving your girlfriend a bracelet after her dad gave her a car
  • Demonflare - June 6, 2009 4:49 p.m.

    Hahaha! Someone had the balls to shoot Mario!
  • marioman50 - June 5, 2009 10:16 p.m.

    DAMN! Cammie must've had work done or something. She looks extra bad in that photo.
  • MGS4SolidSnake - June 4, 2009 3:30 a.m.

    Cyberninja - 2 days 6 hours ago dont you think that was a bit much if you like sports games get a psp i like ds more because it has better games if your going in terms of fun and i am not talking of the casual games sports games are somewhat casual but still good...along with them u have all those artsy games...and u have all the portable metal gears...the ds is the king of casual games and casual gamers
  • skalpo - June 3, 2009 8:52 a.m.

    More foto http://tiontelmioler-bl.mybrute.com
  • Samael - June 2, 2009 4:42 a.m.

    @Grenade They were talking about this trailer you dipshit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJ_IXmvUg6Q
  • KillerPotato - June 2, 2009 12:02 a.m.

    But kudos to you GamesRadar for being able to survive the Hellhole now known as E3
  • secretsearcher - June 1, 2009 11:59 p.m.

    I'm surprised Wii Music wasn't #1.
  • Hobojedi - June 1, 2009 10:41 p.m.

    ..And then in two weeks, the gamesradar site shut down and gloriously became gardeningradar.
  • Cyberninja - June 1, 2009 9:12 p.m.

    dont you think that was a bit much if you like sports games get a psp i like ds more because it has better games if your going in terms of fun and i am not talking of the casual games
  • Defguru7777 - June 1, 2009 8:19 p.m.

    Typo in last article. I meant comparing the 2006 cutscene with 2007 footage. Sorry for the double post.
  • Defguru7777 - June 1, 2009 8:18 p.m.

    I truly despise Cammie and Wii Music. Question. What's up with the embedded YouTube video for Family Guy? Its funny, but I don't see what it has to do with the article. Also, isn't it a bit unfair to use gameplay footage to cutscene footage for the Halo 3 trailer comparison? I mean, the cutscenes are almost always better than the actual game's graphics. If you'd used a cutscene photo from the 2007 trailer, I wouldn't mind as much.
  • animeman - June 1, 2009 7:35 p.m.

    A lot of bad things happened at E3 2008. their is no way that they could do worse this year.
  • Thirteenth - June 1, 2009 6:24 p.m.

    Yaay, gardening! \o/
  • CAPST3R - June 1, 2009 5:56 p.m.

    the sd (don't know the name) cards worked with the PSP too y'know, i had an 8 gig.
  • PatHan-bHai - March 3, 2013 10:52 a.m.

    my bro uses his sd card on the psp :3

Showing 1-20 of 49 comments

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