1. Most obvious comedy set-up award
We all know Nintendo prez Reggie Fils-Aime is a big guy. We wouldn't say he's fat, but he's got a pretty solid looking frame. So when the 6'5" Nintendo giant stepped onto the Wii Balance Board to measure his body mass index it was pretty obvious that he was going to tip the scale with comedic results. And, sure enough, the Regginator measured "Overweight" and his Mii slumped to the floor gasping for breath. We saw it coming, but we still laughed. It was that kind of conference.
2. Most appropriate warm-up music award
As we were herded inside the auditorium it was hard not to smile at Nintendo's chosen play list. We're pretty sure that The Monkees' hit "I'm a Believer" was a cheeky little dig in the ribs for anyone that sneered when Wii was first revealed, while Dusty Springfield's "I Only Want to be With You" seemed to be celebrating the monogamous relationship that gamers enjoy with their Wii or DS. And, finally, The Turtles' "Happy Together" kind of speaks for itself.
3. Most colorful attire award
Miyamoto is a colorful character, so colorful clothes seem appropriate and he's often seen sporting some visually challenging attire. And he didn't disappoint with a top that looked like a Haight-Ashbury original. All he needed was some flowers in his hair and cosmic sunglasses and the look would have been complete.
4. Biggest groan of distaste award
The audience could politely accept the necessity for titles like My Life Coach, but Disney's High School Musical was just a step too far and was greeted by audible moans around us. We're sure the kids will love it, but next time it might have been a better idea not to draw attention to it in a room full of grown-up gaming hacks.
5. Most time spent unashamedly back slapping award
We know Wii and DS have been soar-away successes, but we didn't need reminding every 10 minutes with movie montages. Little girls are happy. Grannies and Granddads are happy. Even sophisticated working women that wouldn't normally wipe their ass on a gamer are happy. Everyone's playing games. It's great. We get the message Nintendo.
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July 11, 2007