Overlook the racism (congratulations) and you’ve got potential for entertainment that will teach children the virtues of teamwork and strategy, requiring them to utilize each individuals’ talents to overcome obstacles, hooray. Especially with the intuitive control scheme that lets you execute every action with a few universal stylus movements. But the problem is sloppy execution.

You draw arcing lines across the screen to launch jumps and long range attacks, but the process is glitchy and your subordinates often won’t go where you want. And when you frequently perish because your line didn’t register right and your jump or attack went awry and the enemy bombed you out and you have to restart the 20-minute level… you’ll be bellowing things. Naughty things inappropriate for mass absorption by the nation’s children not old enough to realize they’re playing a so-so game based on some atrociously formulaic film-garbage like Shrek.