Metroid Prime Hunters

ith the release of Metroid: Other M just a few days away, now is the perfect time to scan through Nintendo’s venerable sci-fi series and poke fun at all its physical inconsistencies. We did it for Mario and Bowser, then for Link and Ganon, and now it’s time for Samus, Ridley and Kraid to fess up and explain why they can’t pick a size and stick with it...

Game-based, hand-made Metroid weapon looks nice to squeeze and also like a penis. You'll never look at Samus Aran the same way again.

Whoa, hang a second. The DS has been around for five years? Strange as it sounds, it’s true – the DS launched in the US on November 21, 2004 to almost immediate success, and is well on its way to outselling every other major gaming platform in history. Current numbers put the DS (and its various incarnations) at nearly 115 million units sold worldwide, a runaway lead over Sony’s estimated 60 million PSPs

Like comic books and movies, videogames tend to present an exaggerated representation of men and women. Dudes are typically muscle-bound meatheads with powerful jaw lines and a thorough understanding of all forms of combat, while women generally have back-breaking chests and dress like strippers regardless of their profession.

Ever wondered what it would be like to have video game characters in your Pokemon party? Why choose boring old Bulbasaur when you can choose a beautiful Kasumi? Or a level 50 Sackboy?

We've given 21 game characters the Pokemon treatment, with four moves to choose from and some evolutionary states too.

Who would you choose?

By now you’re probably aware of all the top-tier games coming out in the first three months of 2009, but isn’t there a little part of you that wants to know what the devs are working on next? We sure as hell do, and have already made up our minds about what should be unveiled before the year is out – most of them games we already suspect are on their way but have so far remained hidden.

So, Nintendo’s got a massive E3 announcement waiting in the wings. But as we detailed yesterday, not two years out the Wii has already blown its wad, unleashing Mario, Zelda, Metroid and Brothers Smash. It really makes you wonder what exactly they’ve got left to pull out of their puffy red hat. Sure, we can speculate about the likelihood of Kid Icarus and Star Fox until we’re blue in the wrist, but never with 100%