Final Fantasy III

If there’s one thing nerds love to do, it’s argue about our favorite things and which one is better. SNES or Genesis? Batman or Superman? Mike or Joel? Amongst the myriad of geeky topics than can spur internet flamewars, there’s a particularly contentious one: which Final Fantasy game is the best?

Anyone who has attempted to engage in such a debate has discovered something: your favorite FF game is somebody else’s least favorite FF game – and oftentimes for the very same exact reasons that you love it. With that in mind, we’ve set out to settle the debate once and for all. We’ve taken a long, hard look at all the mainline, numbered FF games – no spinoffs, no direct sequels ala X-2 – and have decided to end all arguments once and for all by describing why each and every one is simultaneously both the best and the worst Final Fantasy game ever. In the face of such irrefutable evidence, all arguments are certain to cease now and forevermore… right?

How often do you examine videogame logos? Not regularly, we’d suspect, as there’s not a lot to look at beyond letters and possibly an emblem. But in the case of Final Fantasy, each logo has a distinct message to convey, and with XIII fresh in our minds and XIV on the horizon, we figured it was time to go through all the info tucked away in each game’s logo...

There are few videogame franchises that have as rabid a fanbase as Final Fantasy. Stretching all the way back to the series’ NES debut, the intense love FF fans have shown the series has made its title increasingly oxymoronic over the years. But you know what? We’re not here to love your favorite game. No, we're here to hate.

As series with 13 entries and an ungodly amount of spin-off titles, Final Fantasy stirs up a great amount of excitement when a new game arrives. XIII hits the US next week, making it not just the first entry on the PS3/360, but also the first numbered sequel since 2006’s Final Fantasy XII.

3D games, as a rule, don’t age well. The games of the last couple console generations might have been awesome for their time, but take a look at them now and it’s hard to see them as anything other than jaggy abortions in which cardboard rectangles masquerade as limbs. And as if that weren’t embarrassing enough, most of those games contain female characters who, in their day, were genuinely considered sexy.