Is it weird to be attracted to anthropomorphic animals? Yep. Here are gaming's most uncomfortably sexy bipedal beauties...
You devious son of a bitch, box. You promised me woman, explosions, grizzly bears! And now I’m tediously flicking through menus in a glorified micro management sim. That’s right, some covers like to oversell the experience of their actual game. Screw giving potential players an accurate depiction of what the title’s about, there’s bi-quarterly sales figures to hit.
Chances are you'll die one day. And before that time, being as you're reading this site and all, you'll probably play some videogames. And while this month's Darksiders II gives a starring role to the Grim Reaper, it's far from the first title to feature variations on the character. With Halloween long months away, the time's right for a spooky trip through gaming's afterlife...
Since time immemorial, mankind has gazed upon missiles and secretly thought, “Hey, that’d be fun to ride.” For whatever perverse reason, the idea of straddling or surfing on what amounts to a blazing rocket engine packed with deadly explosives is wildly fascinating to just about everyone, particularly if someone else does it.
From the stinging paper cuts delivered by their early Hanafuda cards, to their dual screen screammaker Contra 4, Nintendo have been responsible for a downpour of tricky titles to douse even the most resilient gamer's spirit. Join us as we descend Jacob's ladder through the circles of hell, into the belly of the Game Over beast.
Pardon our geekboners, but holy f**k Mega Man 9! Instead of dragging our boyhood hero through any more tired Star Forces or Battle Networks, those understanding folks at Capcom are giving us the Mega Man game we’ve always wanted.
What took ya so long? And more importantly, why haven’t other games turned to their pixilated roots when MM9 is making it look so damned easy? Tecmo Bowl is about to rise
After pumping goodness knows how much time, energy and capital into their baby, the last thing a developer wants is for it to fade into bargain bins unnoticed. You could tie it to a well-loved motion picture, thus ensuring a pre-existing audience… but what if you can’t afford the license? Then it’s time for what charitable reviewers might call “paying homage!” Here are 20 games that are just really, really big fans of their cinematic cousins… copyright be damned.
Mario is a cultural phenomenon. Final Fantasy is epic. Resident Evil, Fallout, Diablo... all of these classic franchises will eventually be tossed away, but they won't be stamped with expiration dates anytime in the foreseeable future.
Other franchises started growing mold before they even left the grocery store shelves.
The somehow-less-inspired franchises may sell millions, contain lovable
So what would happen if amoral Balkan sociopath Niko Bellic was in everyone's favourite cute and cuddly cartoon racer? Would Mario and chums accept him into the line-up with grace and humility? Would Niko keep the lid on all his murderous rage when Yoshi was firing red shells up his tailpipe? Of course, not. This is what would happen if the worlds of Liberty City and the Mushroom Kingdom clashed...
And that got us thinking. What
“Is that your profession or pleasure?” Well, when it comes to jobs in games, it’s usually both. Y’see, your average gaming hero’s nine-to-five is a never-ending stream of employed excitement. Acrobatic plumbers who frolic in magical fantasy kingdoms. Archaeologists with pornstar bodies who can dual wield pistols like everyone’s favourite slaphead assassin. And suspiciously buff scientists who routinely save the human race with nothing but a crowbar. They all enjoy incredible careers we mere mortals could only dream of. Of course, if their jobs were a little more true to life, Mario would probably do himself in when he faced his first backed-up toilet…