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What to say to the guy who comments "First!!!!"

Fights, arguments and salty language with unnecessary punctuation

Words: Paul Ryan, GamesRadar US

Typical “Firsts”


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That’s right, Beerhaunter. You can do better. And Z-man427, you may want to be sure it’s clear who you’re responding to from now on. It almost sounds like you’re telling us our article could have been better.



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Why two comments? There wasn’t enough time to write that sometimes the game looks nice, sometimes it looks bland and it may or may not be fun in the first comment?



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We like this one because it shows how nobody really wants to be “that guy” but you end up being him anyway.



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This one gets the award for most exclamation points used for a “first” for a comment that’s obviously not even close to the first one, and it gets a nice recognition for albinomonkey90’s keen observation that neither of the “first” posters were first.



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One, two, three, four, five, six people are first – this one just gets silly. Technically, we think everyone is correct, except jamminontha1n2 - he’s not even close.



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Not even GamesRadar Editors are impervious to the alluring void of an empty first comment box, mostly Charlie Barratt though.


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Anyone can be the first commenter on a review, so it obviously doesn’t count for anything. Now being “first” for an article, well, that’s much more important.



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Hint: when checking to see if anyone has already said “first,” the best place to look is the first comment.



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The often spoken of, but rarely seen, infamous triple-first post has few examples better than the one found on our 100 reasons fanboys hate casual games page. The way miningguyx360 ironically points out that fanboys also hate the repetitive nature of casual games, followed by his realization and horror at what he’s done by being the third user to type “first,” nicely ties together this whole section of comments.

 
216 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
TobiUchiha  - 4 months 28 days ago 
FIRST!!!!!11!!!!!1! lolz i is da bestezt

lol nice article though
GamesRadarBrettElston  - 4 months 28 days ago 
- Modified by Moderator
I WAS NOT FIRST AFTER ALL!!!!!!! PAUL FORGIVE ME
CapnCrotchPunch  - 4 months 28 days ago 
Wow another hilarious article by Paul Ryan, Keep it up man!
GamesRadarJoeMcNeilly  - 4 months 28 days ago 
I can't tell where the comments end and the article begins, it's all a mystery
Cwf2008  - 4 months 28 days ago 
Freaken hilarious...but is this an old or new article? Because it says that the comments above were posted nearly a year ago...
Ell223  - 4 months 28 days ago 
fifth

because i care about fifth too
Cwf2008  - 4 months 28 days ago 
Ok never mind im an idiot and my computer was being stupid. (hopes i dont get posted on a future feature as the idiot who double posted to show he was an idiot)
Firstest  - 4 months 28 days ago 
First!

Lolz lolz loz
Firstest  - 4 months 28 days ago 
Ah crap
TobiUchiha  - 4 months 28 days ago 
Ironic that the first time I get first in an article on GR is an article about how saying "FIRST" is so stupid and pointless.

WOOO I'M A STEREOTYPE

P.S haha Brett
Titanguy654  - 4 months 28 days ago 
Yay, I'm in a GamesRadar article! My life is now complete.
Titanguy654  - 4 months 28 days ago 
Seriously though, saying "first" is lame. Although I do feel kind of stupid now for ranting about it in the comments section.....
skyguy343  - 4 months 28 days ago 
paul ryan, creative genius
Z-man427  - 4 months 28 days ago 
you know, my comment that made it in was in fact directed at the article, not the "First" comment.

but this article had my chuckling and jiggling with mirth.

but yeah... 14th? why the hell not?
Awesomeitude1523  - 4 months 28 days ago 
Uhh... hold on...... 15TH! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Titanguy654  - 4 months 28 days ago 
^
z-man, I think you're missing the joke.
twishart  - 4 months 28 days ago 
Wow, that's actually my first and only first, and it was completely unintentional. I'm pretty epic that way.

SEVENTEENTH!
animeman  - 4 months 28 days ago 
This makes me want to have way more firsts.(Only have two)
Awesomeitude1523  - 4 months 28 days ago 
OH SHIT I JUST SAW THAT ONE OF MY COMMENTS WAS MENTIONED AS IRRELEVANT ON THE FIRST PAGE!!! NOW I CAN DIE HAPPY!
EvilNinjaSquibidyflop  - 4 months 28 days ago 
Why can't Paul at least help with all the articles? And be on every Tdar? Please?

Also, expect to see some blowback after linking to all those past articles.
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