Earlier this year we deduced that Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Eye of the Beholder II – The Legend of Darkmoon is the longest game name out there. Reader comments quickly proved there were a few names out there just as long or even longer, but will you be able to find a name that’s shorter than those on this list?

Collected here are the simplest, monosyllabic game names we could dig up. By limiting our search to one word and one syllable we’ve been able to weed out seemingly tiny names like Ico, Oni and Uno, while games like Grid and Pure still make the cut.

Now, in descending order, the shortness:

Worms
Spawn
SPRay
Realm
Hoops
Sqoon
Zoom!
Doom
NARC
KORE
MULE
Spore
Flock!
Joust
Skate
Gods
Moon
Ruse
Braid
Hook
Goal!
Jaws
DiRT
Trog!
Flink
Pure
Cars
Prey
Myst
Saw
Plok
Klax
Grid
Golf
Lair
One
LOL
Rez
Bolt
Wet
Vay
Qix
LIT
Ys

That brings us to the last batch. What could possibly be shorter than Ys? Why, a trio of games that are merely one lonely character.

First up is 9, a game that bafflingly combines the talents of Robert De Niro, Cher, Christopher Reeve and James Belushi (as “Salty”), plus Steven Tyler and Joe Perry of Aerosmith, into one clunky PC adventure title. We’d go on, but these guys have already spent enough time tracking down all the trivia.

Next is N. Just the letter N. You probably know it better as N+, the enhanced version of the free web game. You’re a little ninja silhouette running around collecting gems. Simple name, simple game. But, there’s a game we say ranks even higher (lower?) on the list, and that’s PlayStation crap-terpiece D.

Imagine playing Myst, only you’re a girl that looks, acts and talks like a stone-faced, emotionless robot. Frustrating puzzles, ghastly graphics and terrible voice acting made this a pain to play even in the ‘90s, but today, well, the most notable thing about it is that it’s the shortest name we could find.

But why’s it shorter than N or 9? If we assign numerical values to the alphabet, N is 14 and D is 4, making it smaller than N’s value plus smaller than the number 9. What, did you think there was going to be some kind of grand point to all this? It’s just for fun.

Speaking of fun, D is not fun.

PS – The D stands for Dracula

Apr 14, 2009

 
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