Sonic the Hedgehog (360, PS3) | Sega | 2007
After Sonic Heroes, Shadow the Hedgehog and Sonic Riders all failed to satisfy our craving for a return to the pure, hyper-fast gaming thrills that got us hooked on Sega's spiky, sneaker wearing star in the first place, we optimistically hedged our bets on this being a glorious return to form for the hot-footed hedgehog.
But we were wrong. Rather than a ground-scorching victory for Sonic fundamentalists, Sega delivered a half-baked turkey that rightfully received an acerbic basting by critics reeling from the disbelief that such a shoddy Sonic product could ever make it out the doors of Sega HQ.
We foolishly played through the entire game, hoping to find something - anything - that might remove the shitty smear obscuring the view from our rose-tinted glasses. After suffering the entire game, and then being kicked in the nuts for good measure by an unbelievably bad ending, we were left bawling like broken-hearted babies sobbing over the lifeless body of a beloved pet.
Above: From start to finish, Sega's piss poor Sonic outing is just one big hedgehog smelling skid mark
And Sega did shout from the mountaintop...
"Sonic The Hedgehog brings his fast feet and feisty attitude to new next generation heights in his most intense, high velocity adventure yet."
Lo, the critics were sad and did spit fire and brimstone...
GamesRadar: "Sonic 's action stages are plagued by a sassy renegade camera, virtually no exploration, loose control, boring combat and rudimentary collision problems. Argh."
Jolt: "It’s never a nice experience watching a video game icon suffer a long, pointless, drawn-out death."
Pro-G: "As a next-generation game Sonic the Hed gehog is laughable, and somewhat of an embarrassment for Sega."
PSM3: "Any potential Sonic the Hedgehog had of returning to form has been destroyed by the fact that his PS3 debut is a broken mess."