Resident Evil x Silent Hill
Why it needs to happen: How many years will people disappear into Silent Hill before someone with a whole lotta firepower decides it’s time to figure out what’s going on? At some point the government has to get involved, and that’s where an RE4-style Leon Kennedy comes in – he’s sent to investigate Silent Hill with a team of trained, armed-to-the-teeth soldiers. And seeing as Leon’s used to scrapping with freakish monsters, Silent Hill will have to come up with something really creative to survive.
The catch, of course, is that Silent Hill feeds on what’s inside you. So, even with rocket launchers, shotguns and years of paranormal experience, what inner demons will manifest themselves once purgatory town gets a hold of them? With all luck, something icky enough to create a fantastically frightening game that puts both franchises back on the top horror spot.
Two characters that have to meet: There’s only one recurring Silent Hill character worth trotting out again – that’d be the always-rapey Pyramid Head. He’s a mental construct designed for punishment, and surely he’d have some interesting things to do to/with Wesker, RE’s equivalent bad boy. What happens when monster meets monster? Would a mental assault be more effective against Wesker than an exploding volcano?
Dragon Quest x Star Ocean
Why it needs to happen: The first Star Ocean hits its stride when some space-faring heroes landing on a rustic, backwater planet. You get a fun mix of old-timey villagers and all-powerful space federations (a little like our dearly departed Firefly, actually) that sets up several silly, contrasting moments between the two cultures. Maybe next time the Star Ocean crew touches down on a medieval planet, it could be one conceived by Akira Toriyama and the Dragon Quest teams?
Two characters that have to meet: Dragon Quest doesn’t have much in the way of a constant cast, with each game starring a completely new set of heroes. At best, there’s the good-natured Torneko, who appears in a few different DQ games. Perhaps he could help cheer up Star Ocean’s luckless Ashton with his charming personality?
Disgaea x Darkstalkers
Why it needs to happen: Visually, these two were destined to be together. They both have a distinct “serious demons looking and acting quite silly” vibe, and even though the storylines can occasionally turn dark, the nuts and bolts of both properties are centered on fun, not horror. They’re both also home to some gorgeous sprites and traditional hand-drawn art, which could set the stage for a lavishly animated SRPG starring characters from both series.
Two characters that have to meet: Both have a wonderful stable of characters to pull from, but off the top of our heads we’d most want to see how the pushy, zealous Etna (with a full platoon of Prinnies) would interact with Morrigan, an evil-looking succubus who’s actually not all that bad. They’re both eager to prove themselves and would likely resort to violence, but surely in the end they’d bond over their similar experiences as immortal demon chicks. Plus Morrigan has to atone for Cross Edge.
Sierra x LucasArts
GUEST ENTRY! Charlie Barratt describes the game he was born to play
Why it needs to happen: Haven't you heard? Point-and-click adventure games are back, baby! A genre declared dead over a decade ago has experienced a respectable resurgence thanks to the emergence of compatible platforms like the iPhone, iPad, XBLA, PSN and Steam. That's a huge new audience, currently interested in story and puzzle-driven gameplay, but potentially (tragically) unaware of the two greatest creators of such content: Sierra and LucasArts.
What better introduction than a massive, nostalgia-soaked, fan-servicing crossover starring classic characters from both companies? King Graham, Gabriel Knight, Leisure Suit Larry. Grim Fandango, LeChuck, Purple Tentacle, Sam and Max. Back in the '80s and '90s, these names were as big as Master Chief is today, and although each might not have the remaining star power to justify his own comeback, together they could generate enough publicity and revenue to make the necessary alignment of stars – and legal rights – worthwhile.
Two characters that have to meet: That's easy. Space Quest's Roger Wilco and Monkey Island's Guybrush Threepwood might as well be distant cousins. Both are blonde, bumbling buffoons, totally disrespected by everyone they encounter, yet always able – through dumb luck or some normally useless talent – to save the day and get the girl. We'd love to watch them work together, tripping over each other metaphorically, and literally, at every step.
Sly Cooper x Uncharted
Why this needs to happen: Bear with me. While it’s easy to say Tomb Raider and Uncharted would make a better pair, what’s the point? Sure they’d make a sexy duo, and that’d undoubtedly make for a fantastic co-op experience, but in the end they’d still do doing what they normally do – jump around dusty old ruins. So let’s just go nuts with this one and find a way to make Sly’s animated world invade the realistic-but-frequently-mystical Uncharted-verse.
Think of it like a Roger Rabbit-style crossover, where the toons and humans are forced to live side by side. For whatever reason, Sly and Nathan Drake are reluctantly brought together to pull off the zaniest/wackiest/hum dinger-est heist in all of gamesland. It sounds absolutely idiotic, but I firmly believe Naughty Dog and Sucker Punch could pull it off.
Two characters that have to meet: Well, this entire concept is dependent on Sly and Drake meeting up. Their personalities are just similar enough to make the banter as engaging and entertaining as a typical Uncharted game, but the added wrinkle of Sly being a cartoon, and Drake’s general disbelief about the entire situation, would provide some of the best one-liners and all-around dialog in gaming history. Hey, if we want this medium to grow, we gotta play around with it from time to time.
OK fine, just go with Tomb Raider x Uncharted.
Aug 13, 2010
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