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Crazy ass rom hacks

NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY NUDES

Contrary to what your teachers and Al Gore will tell you, the internet was invented for the sole purpose of seeing your favorite pop-culture icons naked. But mankind was once again underestimated, and in the web’s infancy, humanity managed to exhaust what could be done with hand-drawn pictures of Cinderella pleasuring Speedy Gonzalez. So, 8-bit nude hacks were just a natural progression.

 

Nude Mario
Hack of: Super Mario Bros.

The lack of a title should let you know that you’re in for a slightly more bare affair. However, it is a tiny bit misleading. Mario’s refusal to remove his hat would perpetuate rumors of baldness, leading to an overall insecurity that wouldn’t go away for years. So, mad (sad) props to the hacker for keeping the man’s schlong in proportion to his body. Now we know the magic Mushroom offers complete male enhancement.



 

The Naked Little Mermaid
Hack of: The Little Mermaid

Who hasn’t wanted to see Ariel nude? What’s she got under that dorsal fin anyway? Well, we still don’t quite know, since this hack keeps everything but her seashells intact, now replaced with two pink pixels. Such a process shall henceforth be known as “xipples.” Hot? No, not.



 

Nude Samus
Hack of: Metroid

Yeah, you got us. We threw in that shot of Zero Suit Samus, just to keep you reading.

All Nude Samus has to offer is exactly that (starting to see a pattern?) And that ain’t much, unless you’re into green pubic hair. Luckily, we have a Joker fetish.



 

Nude Punch-Out!
Hack: Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!

Trunks have been junked, albeit extremely inconsistently thanks to some slapdash hackery.

Every seen a flesh-colored maraca before? Now you have. So, let’s never mention this hack, or Bald Bull's moose knuckle, ever again.



 

Little Remo: The Child Abuser
Hack: Little Nemo: The Dream Master

Having mined homosexuality for all its inherent humor, the hacker replaces various nouns and verbs with sexually perverse terminology for an extremely immature game of digital Mad-libs. Keys are now dildos, animal suits recreate crude sex acts, and almost every character has been given some form of bare tit or gigantic erection in place of something useful. In other words: Art!

18 comments

  • PatHan-bHai - February 23, 2013 11:40 a.m.

    SAMUS??>>>>>>>>>
  • fobidenerror - December 11, 2010 1:13 a.m.

    With the exception of Jomb's hacks, I don't see where these others are so bad, Jomb is the NES Rapist he'll rape any game any day of the week. He'll make a program that rape's a game and call it Rapist like "Monster Rapist" the Nes game Monster Party level editor. People on the internet begged him to make many of his hacks because they wanted them more than he did. that is the darkside of romhacking you either want to get somewhere fast or nowhere after years of work, the main focus of the Rom hacking community is on Fan Translation bringing accurate English translations of games unreleased in our country to the U.S.A.. I have been a rom hacker since 1998 who knows about me nobody I made two really awesome complete hacks one that is a total conversion of the original game they aren't perverted, So nobody knows who I am.
  • fobidenerror - December 11, 2010 12:33 a.m.

    You think those hacks suck, or that they aren't that great get your self a character editor like Tile Layer Pro or YYchar open the ROM "Game Image" and see what you can do with compressed graphic's, nothing. Laugh away they weren't copied and pasted many of them had ASM coding changes, decompression and all kinds of things you have no idea how to do. Try it some time you aren't skilled enough to alter Super Mario Brothers yet alone anything else and we know you are just angry cause you can't copy a real Rom hackers work and claim it as your own. Waka Waka Waka you can talk but you can't deliver.
  • BoondockSaint54 - July 9, 2010 1:32 a.m.

    Awesome article, Chris. I laughed at a lot of those.
  • waffledragon33 - July 8, 2010 10:22 p.m.

    koool
  • Thirteenth - March 13, 2010 1:57 p.m.

    Oh IWBTG, thou art a heartless bitch.
  • dmaster225 - March 1, 2010 5:26 a.m.

    what about kaizo mario world? thats a pretty difficult one.
  • D0CCON - February 27, 2010 5:45 a.m.

    Bottom of page 3, the children here will suck your... Woah....................................
  • hdofu - January 16, 2010 2:26 a.m.

    Also I feel bad for not saying this, in the above, but how can this list not give mention to the legendary Wilfred Brimley, the patron saint of Rom Hacks
  • hdofu - January 16, 2010 2:23 a.m.

    To be fair this article gives the impression this is the only kind of rom hacks out there. There are some good examples out there like Mario Adventure, Extra Mario Bros, Super Kitkiu World, Legend of Zelda Parallel worlds. BS Zelda: The Ancient Stone Tablets Wouldn't even be playable ever again without rom hacking. Some great games also are translated via hack Also there are official rom hacks... like Super Mario Bros 2
  • FanofSaiyan - December 12, 2009 10:13 p.m.

    Nude Mario?! These guys must have seperate lives to waste exclusively.
  • Sorekara - December 3, 2009 1:30 a.m.

    I am downloading IWTBTG now.
  • shnazzyone - November 5, 2009 6:01 a.m.

    This list is missing one of the greatest rom hacks of all time. Pussy city pimps.
  • Rockman - July 17, 2009 6:57 p.m.

    @nyef Actually it's not a typo. "As we're wont to do" is a phrase meaning something to the tune of "as we have a habit of doing". I used to mess around with Rom hacks all the time, so this article made me laugh. Good stuff GR!
  • Kaz993 - July 17, 2009 6:03 a.m.

    I am one of those that beat I wanna be the guy. Smashed 2 keyboards and the neighbors complained for my screaming. I gotta say, for some reason dracula always seemed the most irritating part of the game, aside from the Guy at the end (who took me well over 400 tries to beat.)
  • darkshadow0308 - July 22, 2009 2:47 p.m.

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
  • nyef - July 17, 2009 3:19 a.m.

    lol i give props to the people that made these roms... even though they're illegal p.s. "When gamers sit around in their wicker rocking chairs and ponder who should’ve been in Super Smash Bros. Brawl - AS WE'RE WONT TO DO -" uhhh... i think that's a typo...
  • RebornKusabi - February 9, 2009 12:05 a.m.

    Holy God! Your a complete and total fucking tool if you have never played "I Wanna Be The Guy"...

Showing 1-18 of 18 comments

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