Even though Crash Bandicoot is pretty irrelevant now, his new game looks good - spinning above jungle vistas has a Sonic the Hedgehog level of greenery loveliness, and the game’s calibration screen assures you the game’s “designed to use the full range of colours,” which is worth pointing out, we think. And once you’ve accepted you’re on one, single, long, 10-hour fixed path through Crash’s world, there’s something rather LEGO Star Wars-ish about the fun-size levels, the punch-kicky smashing up of enemy hordes, the scooping up of bazillions of little Mojo jewels left behind by dead enemies. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with LEGO Star Wars, right?
Granted, the ability to wrap your legs around monster helpers - in this case, dazed enemy beasts that can smash walls and fling fireballs - will only seem sparklingly original to people who’ve been trapped inside a rolled-up carpet since Donkey Kong Country. But it works well enough, and there are some fantastic ride-able beauties later. There’s no more satisfying ending to a big hard boss fight than getting to turn the tables on the enemy with their own laser-spitting, bagpipe-playing giant.
But the fact that the co-op two-player is as dull as bricks betrays how monotonous Crash of the Titans is. We’ve seen more variety in the non-marshmallow pieces of Lucky Charms. Crash of the Titans can drop new scenery in front of you and roll in the odd new roaring baddie - but there’s no escaping that this is a LONG game of walk-forward-and-press-button. Crash was happily traipsing towards the back of your TV and not much else a decade ago - and if you could mould those slivers of Mojo into balls, paint them red and eat them, this would be indistinguishable from the crate-smashing, apple-guzzling game of yesteryear.