When entering the last part of pre-NES Mario lore, we are greeted with one final helping of multi-platform Mario madness.
Still sticking with the pudgy coward look Mario officially had on DK Jr art, he appeared in the first game to bear his name looking basically the same. Sure he's now a plumber instead of a carpenter/animal whipper, but just so you're clear it's him, they provided a helpful arrow. That was helpful, because you might get him confused with Luigi, as Mario Bros was the first time his fairly identical twin showed up.
Above: At least they were able to get their noses under control
Here's a one-two punch of classic, strange ads which don't feature Mario, but Luigi. The red one's absence is felt as Luigi screams for his assistance like the gutless invertebrate we all know him to be. First here's the ad that appeared in tons of comic books in the early '80s:
We only found out recently that this print ad had a companion TV commercial, which we present to you now in its YouTube glory. Sing along now that you know the words.
Above: The proto-Luigi's Mansion
A very important message
Speaking of old commercials, we came upon this other one for Nintendo's Game & Watch games. G&Ws were simplistic games mixed with a plain LCD clock, which was killer entertainment in the early 80s. You never know when playing Manhole you'll want to know the time. Mario Bros even had their own G&W title:
Above: The first DS
Though it's pretty differnt from the arcade classic. Of course that game was included in this now controversial commercial:
In case you missed its shocking revelation in the first few seconds, here's a still image:
Not only does Donkey Kong's barrel-throwing humiliate Mario in front of his girlfriend, it makes it look like he's been secretly bald all these years. Well, we want you to know this isn't true. Instead, this is probably the biggest blunder ever in official Mario art history, as it appeared in a fully animated, expensive commercial. Believe it in your hearts children, Mario has a full head of hair. Just look at this conclusive proof:
Even when flashing his t'aint to a Goomba, Mario loves to show off his real hair. Now some could argue that his change in hair color from black to brown proves it's a hair piece, but don't listen to them, they're just bitter Sonic fans. The war is over guys!
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