Free-range chicken murder
Even normal families lacking the inherently violent gamer gene are being exposed to poultry-based atrocities, with Nintendo's Wii entertaining titles like Chicken Blaster and Chicken Shoot. Both 'games' place hapless chickens firmly in the crosshairs of children, women and old people.
And since when do people *shoot* chickens - when did it become acceptable practice to fire fast-moving projectiles at slow-moving birds? Ducks, yes. Duck Hunt we understand. But entire games based entirely around a one-note mechanic of gunning down chickens? Not so much.
It's confirmation that this already downtrodden bird is regarded as the lowest, most kill-worthy animal in electronic entertainment and its breakthrough into the casual market signals that the proliferation of this anti-chicken sentiment is complete.
As for the future prospects of chickens in games... it doesn't look too bright. Even the soon-to-be released interactive drama Heavy Rain shows no love. One scene features chickens in cages being thrown to the ground, while another shows a character laughing as he watches a cartoon featuring a persecuted - you've guessed it - chicken.
This is the last bit
And there you have it. Irrefutable evidence that the chicken is the most hated animal in video games. We don't know why this has happened - we don't have the answer (and, in all honesty, we don't really care). However, if you feel like you have some enlightenment to offer, please feel free to share your valued thoughts in the comments.
Above: That's what she said
Finally, we'll leave you with a satirical verse that poetically sums up the plight of the tyrannized chicken:
"The chicken is a bird with a tiny brain,
So we assume he doesn't feel any pain,
We shrink their heads and we breed 'em fast,
Six wings, forty breasts, then they're gassed..."
February 18, 2010
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