Busted Cheats 3: The worst cheat submissions ever

Game: GTA IV
Submitted By: Yargonsnafel

Cheat Title: ZOMB JellyFish and Nukes
Entry Location: Far far far awy from teh MAPZ
Cheat: OK Ok take a boatz or Hellcopter and go to the ocean far far away from where u canT see the city no more, and on your map your of the map.

When you reach acertain distanc...bout 15 minutes goin you wuill see huge jelly fish in the water and 5 minutes aftr that missles will pop out from the sky and blowj you UP!!!

We Say: After testing out the alleged "Unlock Everything" cheat from the first page for Indiana Jones, we just didn't have the energy to hold the thumbstick down long enough to swim 15 min away from the island. Years of combing through cheat submissions has, however, given us a certain primal cheat-related instinct that is telling us that there are definitely giant zombie jellyfish with nukes in the water around Liberty City.

Game: GTA IV
Submitted By: blargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!whyareyouread

Cheat Title: cheese hat
Entry Location: phone in helicopter
Cheat: first, eat some cheese. then type in 390895-423876-3876376823764726972, then call, when they pick up sing the Barney song 5000000 times, and when you're finished, put a grenade in the chopper while eating a Teletubby's head at a seafood restruant in Elmo's world after shooting Elmo for singing and continue where he left off with millions of kids wacth Niko kill the puppet for no particular reason

We Say: The only question we have is, which Barney song? "Boom, Boom, Ain't It Great To Be Crazy" a traditional song found on I Love To Sing With Barney (1999) or perhaps the Lazarus and Baltes composition, "The Baby Bop Hop"?

Of course, blargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!whyareyouread wasn't referring to either of those because even "The Baby Bop Hop," the shorter of the two, takes at least 1:17 to sing in the style it was preformed on the TV show Barney. Singing it 5,000,000 times would take at least 5,850,000 seconds or just shy of 68 24-hour days of singing - probably enough to kill any dinosaur or GTA character. 
The cheat must require us to sing the most well known Barney song of all, "I Love You." This song is a bit shorter and can be sung in about one min, making it slightly easier to sing the required 5,000,000 times.

Thanks for the hot cheese hat tip, blargh!!!!! This one's a real winner.

Game: GTA IV
Submitted By: YAY JESSE1231234

Cheat Title: niko is naked
Entry Location:
Cheat: go into your first safehouse and go to sleep at exactly 12:00 when you wake up imediatley call michelle. when you take her back to her place go to your safe house you will see a GREEN triangle press up 2 times ( on the D-pad) and then you can invite her in you will watch niko get undressed it turns out..... HE IS A WOMAN!!!!!!!

Above: Yeah, we could have tried harder on this one, but JESSE1231234 could have tried harder to submit a good cheat, too

We Say: The cheat submissions we love to read the most are the ones with the twist endings that you just don't see coming (unless your eyes were drawn to the tactful ALL CAPS sections of the submissions before you could read to the end). We like to think of YAY JESSE1231234 as the M. Night Shyamalan of video game cheat submissions. The only difference is that we don't have to pay $10.50 to realize the end of this cheat is stupid.

Submitted By: hughnettelbeck

Cheat Title: The completely true cheat that only real
Entry Location: in a battle or sumtin
Cheat: This cheat can only be done by sexy atractive peops like me, so if ur not atractive dnt try it, and then if u do try and it dosent work, ur obviously not as atractive as me.Start playin pkmon on ur wii and then when ur in a battle pull the red white and yellow cord out of ur tv. This will release the pokemon into the air, but u wnt beable 2 see them cuz their bodies are still trapped in your wii. 2 get them out u hav 2 put ur wii in ur toilet and flush the toilet several times, and then take ur wii out and set it on fire. after you dou this you need to cut ur wii in half and then the pokemon can have their bodies. They will say "Sup my atractive frend?!" and then they will live with u and u will score with every girl in the world, cuz everyone will think ur so kool. Then, a week after u do this cheat the pokemon will giv u a free magic wii which you can go into if u want. When u go in mario will be in there and he'll ask u if u want 2 help him kill some goombas, and ul get 2 rip off samus's arm and use her gun 2 blow their brains out. Then mario will be all like: "lets go and kill fox cuz he sux!!!!!" and ul be like: "damn right he sux!!!!!" and then sum stuff will happen, and then ul get 2 ride a dinosaur and shoot lazers out of ur eyes, but bruce willus dressed as spiderman will try 2 stop u, but ul kim him so that he dies and hes dead so that he cant come back 2 life cuz hes dead. Then ul drill a hole in foxs head, and u gotta get the timing right or the world will blow up, but itl be ok becuz i sed so and u wnt die. Then u get this treasure chest out of fox's head and it turns u into jesus on wheels which is totaly awesome, and u go back 2 the real world and they make u the king of earth but aliens come but you kill them with ur bazooka ears and then u rule the world. I have done this cheat before and it is completely true and if sombody tell u it isnt then theyre obviosly intelectually disabled cuz this cheat is actually true! Try it out 4 urself!

We Say: Really, what is there to say about a behemoth like this? Except that it totally works! We tried it and were sexy attractive people so it must have worked. Don't feel bad if it doesn't work for you. We're remarkably attractive people.

That's it for this week's worst cheats. As always, thanks for nothing, guys. If any of you think you can do better, you're welcome to submit your own cheats here. If your cheat is accepted and posted on CheatPlanet, you'll get your name on next week's list of cheat submitters as well as full credit for you work on the game's cheat page.

Here are the people who took the time this week to give valid hints, tips or cheats to help out their fellow gamers (then they made us silly names to take credit for their work):

adiele chukwuka
PKed By Alex
Dr. Orange
Super Soul Reaper
ur mum
The Wiz Kid
Grid Gamer
Violent j
Da Buoy
cole (aka) lumpy 108
Some guy who wants Pikmin 3
Ninja-Man Jordan
Kreyz, a person
Biggest Mario Fan
Awesome Driver


To see last weeks Busted Cheats, you can go here, or you can find the first week's stupidest cheat submissions here.

Jun 12, 2008


  • Amatarasu - December 23, 2010 9:45 a.m.

    DUDE DUDE DUDE. the Jesus on water thing for gta actualy happend, i shot a boat, and he moonwalked out, and floated in midair for a sec. Captcha Pacian but
  • IsaacFenix - June 21, 2010 12:19 p.m.

    I just want to point out that in the cheat submitted hughnettelbeck, he forgot to add that it only works if you first bash your skull against a brick wall at least five times, then chew glass for about three minutes. Enjoy ruling the world! 8D
  • olio - December 6, 2009 9:39 a.m.

    Dear Paul, God bless you for slogging through all these just for our entertainment. I laughed pretty hard.
  • NullG7 - January 13, 2009 11:25 p.m.

    Wow these cheats....... First
  • oreopizza47 - February 10, 2009 10:33 p.m.

    the links to get to the other Busted Cheats pages are mixed up. it confused me a little bit. please fix them.

Showing 1-5 of 5 comments

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