Google+

Biggest wastes of a superhero's powers

As seen in Hulk for GameCube, PC, PS2 and Xbox

Unlike the excellent Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction, the game of Ang Lee’s 2003 flop diluted the ‘Hulk smash!’ formula by including needless Bruce Banner stealth sections. Not only were the sub-Metal Gear mechanics a real chore, but you’d be forced to replay these levels if you Hulked up. And really, who wants to be sneaking around in the shadows with a scientist when you could be punching tanks into the sun with everyone’s favourite mean, green fighting machine?

Solid Hulk isn't exactly a lean, green, sneaking machine

As seen in Catwoman for GameCube, PC, PS2 and Xbox

What a stellar choice EA made here. Give you control of an ass-kicking heroine who can rip baddies’ throats out, makes Indy look like (even more of) a pensioner with a whip and has better reflexes than ten caffeine-fuelled Russian gymnasts. And then force said heroine to veeeery sloooowly make her way through pitch-black platform levels made up of obscure ledges. Granted, Berry’s portrayal of the Bat’s bit on the side may be laughable, but the character herself deserves more than this shambles.

Oh c'mon. We just want to whip some baddies in the plums

As seen in Superman 64 for N64

Superman on the N64 is the videogame equivalent of a big steaming pile of Kryptonite. Slow, foggy and with some of the most broken controls we’ve ever seen, it’s a massive slap in the face to Supes. Nothing, though, is worse than seeing the ultimate superhero reduced to having to fly through a series of rings like a common NiGHT – minus that game’s wonderful charm and character. The only thing we want to fly through is time (ala the film). And until we get a game that lets us fly around the globe backwards so we can go back to win the lotto, Clark’s videogame powers will never reach their potential.

Supes gets in touch with his feminine side. What a new-aged man Lois has turned him into

Can you think of any other mundane tasks you've been forced to muddle through as a superhero we've not mentioned? Let us know in the forum.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Batman’s Best and Worst Games
Holy retrospective! We look back at every game featuring
The Dark Knight


What if... a nuclear bomb went off in Superman's ass?
Could the Man of Steel survive a massive internal
explosion? We demand an answer!


Kick-ass powers that game characters forgot they had
They're oh so badass in the cutscenes, but once you're
in control? Useless!


Our boring masked heroes
Can you tell any of these generi-soldiers apart?



Comics Relief
Why do superhero action games suck?

7 comments

  • ryno - July 5, 2011 5:35 p.m.

    i REALLY hated when i heard "my ballon" in spiderman 2 i got out of the area as fast as possible before i became annoyed
  • Pottyaboutpotter1 - April 12, 2011 4:56 p.m.

    How about optimus prime in "Transformers the game". He has two giant rocket launchers that don't even hurt half of the decepticon forces. Or in ultimate alliance where the hulk and the thing are only as strong as spidey.
  • Lycanthrokeith - June 30, 2010 6:13 a.m.

    Some of these are right on (Wolverine especially; see the first episode of the X-Men cartoon for a perfect example of how Wolverine deals with locked doors). I have to disagree about the Hulk game, though. A big theme in the comics is the Jekyll-and-Hyde aspect; the character is every bit as much about Banner as it is about the Hulk. Logic vs emotion, rationality vs chaos, reason vs anger. Having two aspects to the game to focus on the character as a whole, rather than just the Hulk side, drives the idea home much better than playing as only the Hulk. You get to understand why Banner is the way he is, because you have to do the things he does. Having said that, I do prefer the Hulk in Ultimate Destruction, but only because he has a better look and moveset, and things are much more freeform. I think in terms of staying true to the character concept, the original Hulk game did a much better job. After all, Banner rarely ever wanted to hulk out; he always did so when he couldn't control himself. Ultimate is set up in a "We need this, go Hulk out and do it" pattern. Banner literally seems to hulk out four or five times a day, runs roughshod over the city and breaks something, jumps back to the island (which is somehow out of the city's jurisdiction; wasn't that the plot of every episode of The Dukes Of Hazard, too?), and seems to be only marginally bothered by it. Lather, rinse, soap in my eyes makes me angry, rargh, relax, repeat. Though to be fair, Banner only consents to this because it is leading to the goal of a possible cure. So, yeah, there's merits to both, I believe. Ultimately, if I'm a fan of the character, I'll prefer something that does justice to the concept over something generic. Same thing with Spider-Man. He'd do anything for MJ, and he's also fighting a constant battle to win the hearts and minds of the public. If he can make someone happy by getting their kid's balloons back, he'd do it in a heartbeat. That's who Spidey is. Put it this way: If you wouldn't be willing to do what the character would do, something you know is consistent with their personality and writing, why are you playing as the character? Someone like a Master Chief or Kratos is already established as a destroy-all character; having them do these kind of things would be ridiculous. Spidey and Banner are well-established as performing these kinds of acts; they're not out of character, and a fan of the character should know what they're getting into. There's a simple solution in that case; if you just want to break buildings and smash tanks, play Rampage or Prototype. If you want to be the Hulk, Banner is part of the package, and any fan of the Hulk should know that.
  • LaughingOcto - June 29, 2010 8:16 p.m.

    Can I ask people, is anyone else getting the username and password request for going onto the "Our boring masked heroes" page?
  • tehperson123412 - September 23, 2008 9:55 p.m.

    in "superman" for the snes, you have to take the subway. someone who can move faster then light...is taking the subway...-_-
  • DARK_SIDE - September 6, 2008 11:52 a.m.

    HA! Great stuff GR i'm wondering where those usless ideas come from i mean the heros don't do that in comics or any where else. would you do any of those things if you were a super-powered being I wouldn't. it's things like that that non-games can say we truly are wasting our time.
  • Vandalizer - June 29, 2009 9:54 p.m.

    in a load of games you have to go somewhere and you can see it but there is a small rock or sumtin in de way and u hav to take a longer route but its ok cos it only adds on ohhhhh i dunno bout 20mins!!!!(ok i kinda exagerated but message me if u see where im comin from)

Showing 1-7 of 7 comments

Join the Discussion
Add a comment (HTML tags are not allowed.)
Characters remaining: 5000

OR…

Connect with Facebook

Log in using Facebook to share comments, games, status update and other activity easily with your Facebook feed.