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Bestselling crap

4. 50 Cent: Bulletproof
2005 | PS2, Xbox
Copies sold in US: Close to one million
Average score: 49%

While not quite as bad as bottom-feeding trash like 25 to Life or Made Man, 50 Cent: Bulletproof is a third-person shooter so generic that it would have been completely ignored if rapper Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson's face and music hadn't been plastered all over it. Essentially a marketing tool disguised as a hyperviolent gangsta fantasy, Bulletproof starred Fiddy as a tough-as-nails urban vigilante out for revenge after some military-grade drug thugs shoot him nine times. Ultimately just another unsatisfying Max Payne ripoff, Bulletproof challenged players to shoot blurry-looking goons, collect random junk and blow stuff up to unlock songs and videos, and that's really about it.

The company line: "50 Cent: Bulletproof is gritty urban action as 50 Cent and G-Unit shoot their way through an army of drug dealers. … It's a web of corruption, double-crosses, and shady deals - but 50 has the guts and the ammo to shoot through it and get the men who almost killed him."

What the critics said: Few reviewers had anything nice to say about Bulletproof, and most immediately tore into the game for its bland design and endlessly repetitive shooting. Eurogamer called it "superficially slick… a third-person shooter that stumbles well under the benchmarks set for the PS2," while Electronic Gaming Monthly was more succinct: "As a game, Bulletproof is a disaster."

Most reviewers zeroed in on the game's crummy, inaccurate aiming, with PSM declaring that "you'll repeatedly find yourself emptying a full clip to kill a dude at point-blank range." Others took issue with the invincible-but-rock-stupid G-Unit soldiers who'd follow Fiddy around, and many seemed to have an underlying problem with the game's soulless glorification of street violence and all things Fiddy (which the man himself didn't help when he publicly encouraged parents to buy his M-rated game for their kids). Any way you slice it, though, Bulletproof's murky environments and mindless, thuddingly dull gunplay should have sent it straight to bargain bins.



Why you bought it anyway: Because you're an admirer of Curtis Jackson's musical oeuvre and you wanted to pop caps as the man himself, reviews be damned. Or you just really, really wanted to watch Eminem portray a cop. One or the other.

What went wrong? It's pretty clear that most of the money went toward Bulletproof's presentation - which is actually pretty nice, if you're a Fiddy fan - and what was left went toward hiring Genuine Games, a developer whose only other project was the insulting Fight Club game. If anything, that's an indicator Bulletproof was never really intended to be good in the first place. The game has some cool ideas, like close-up fatalities, Fiddy's ability to shoot from behind cover and the ever-present G-Unit sidekicks, but they're all poorly implemented, and none of them really feel necessary. In short, it would have needed more time, more money and more talent behind its design to be more than a promo item for 50 Cent's ego.

Most infuriatingly positive quote: Our UK brethren at Official PlayStation Magazine 2 believe that "Bulletproof is like G-Unit's music translated direct to PS2. You'll either completely love it or miss the point entirely." So if we don't love it, it's not because Bulletproof is a crappy shooter. It's because we missed the point, thereby not only redeeming the author's awful taste in games, but elevating it to a level above our own. Genius!

54 comments

  • Terrorrizor - September 4, 2013 1:10 p.m.

    To be honest, Bulletproof is a pretty good game to kill time. I liked being able to shoot a .38 in the left hand while letting a tech rip through enemies on the right. The design complimented the music they put in, and aside from the story which they didn't put much thought into, it was a pretty fun game.
  • darkpigraph - June 16, 2011 11:34 a.m.

    Shiny made that Matrix game? And to think they used to be known for Earthworm Jim and MDK :(
  • PS3pwns - June 15, 2011 2:02 a.m.

    Marvel Nemesis was awesome!!! And spidey 3 was alright.
  • luke1608 - December 13, 2010 8:50 p.m.

    I bought Enter the Matrix, it didn't work and then the games shop refused to refund even though it wasn't scratched or anything, this made it double as shit
  • noporcru623 - October 17, 2010 6:47 a.m.

    driver 3 is funny to play and the movie making is cool, i loved enter the matrix tho i havent played in about 6 years
  • MyGameName - July 16, 2010 12:54 a.m.

    LOL I got Enter the Matrix as a gag gift for my cousin, and it's been floating between a select few of us who actually get it like a twisted game of Hot Potato. I installed it and cheated my way to the end. 5 minutes of my life I'm never getting back. reCAPTCHA: escrow battle
  • mrmorozov987 - July 15, 2010 7:22 p.m.

    Ouch, GamesWave got served! Ah snap!
  • ventanger - February 26, 2010 7:49 a.m.

    Christ... I was one of the poor deluded fools who was suckered into preordering Enter The Matrix due to the Matrix hype and Shiny at the helm. Collectively that game had about 1.85 seconds worth of enjoyment, everything else made me want to hammer a nail halfway into a wall, and then run into it.
  • wiitard07 - December 29, 2009 1:27 a.m.

    I would buy a bargain bin copy of the 50 cent game just to see him get shot repeatedly.
  • pot - October 29, 2009 8:13 a.m.

    God, State of Emergency sucked so bad. My friend had it and acted like it was the best game ever. I was stoned off my ass and still found the game boring as hell. And we all know, pot can make some things better then what they really are. But no dice, didn't work that time.
  • BiscuitGangsta - October 25, 2009 6:49 p.m.

    I bought @ least half of these games, and now I feel ashamed. Thanks a lot GR, lol.
  • micdog2009 - October 24, 2009 7:42 p.m.

    Wii Play Tanks was awesome. totally worth the money.
  • dtzulu - October 23, 2009 10:15 p.m.

    marvel imperfects sucked... driv3r 3 sucked long and hard... marvel ultimate alliance 2 is a let down, predator bites... i can go on and on...
  • kibbles0515 - October 23, 2009 9:51 p.m.

    "Enter the Matrix" was only good if you overlooked the many flaws and embraced the universe/storyline. In retrospect, yes, my dearly beloved "Enter..." was crap, but I can go back now and play only the most fun levels, and that makes me happy. Also, the "hidden" Sparks levels and the hacking are fun, every once in a while. I'm not going to sit and play "Enter..." for 3 hours, but for an hour to 90 minutes, its some good fun while I wait for a newer game to hit store shelves.
  • TestDDs - October 23, 2009 7:48 p.m.

    I have most of these games except for 50 cent and wii play they both can burn in hell 50 cent sould shoo the wii and then his music
  • Illinoissucks - October 23, 2009 1:05 a.m.

    Hey I stole Enter the Matrix from a friend and Kind of liked it but I can't wait for 50 Cent to get gunned down.
  • kodesy - October 22, 2009 7:09 p.m.

    I thought that Path of Neo was a pretty good game..didn't look any better than ETM and it was still kind of clunky but at least you were still playing the actually story. Also, one thing that WAS really sick about Rogue Agent...Bond actually died! Hahaa, eat that Pierce Brosnan, you were the crappiest Bond they ever had!
  • kor2disturbed - October 22, 2009 1:15 p.m.

    Huh well I loved marvel nemesis I thought it was a great game and bought the nintendo ds version and the ps2 version I didnt know you guys at cheatplanet thought it sucked oh well
  • montyburns - October 22, 2009 5:10 a.m.

    "...and also you're an idiot and you smell bad and your website no longer exists"!!! Hahahaha!
  • Cwf2008 - December 6, 2008 5:58 a.m.

    Hey i thought Wii Play was good...well i should say i thought the remote it came with was good. The game sucked, but hey cheap controller!

Showing 1-20 of 54 comments

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