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Bestselling crap

6. DRIV3R
2004 | PS2, Xbox, PC, GameCube
Copies sold in US: Close to 800,000
Average score: 51%

Yes, DRIV3R - the awkwardly titled, laughably clunky Grand Theft Auto clone that's still held up for ridicule every so often by pretty much everyone - actually did fairly well at retail despite being almost universally despised. It's hard to believe now that the game was once hyped as the salvation of the Driver series and a serious contender against Grand Theft Auto, but it certainly had that potential. Its three cities were big and beautiful (if empty and lifeless), the visuals were much sharper than anything that GTA was doing and a lot of care had obviously been put into making the driving as realistic as possible. Of course, all that stuff is worth absolutely nothing when the game as a whole is broken, buggy and more focused on looking slick than on actual fun.

The company line: "DRIV3R - The fun and thrills of the original Driver, combined with all-new gameplay mechanics, bring you the next great racing-action game! … Realistic driving physics and crash models - if you can think of a way to wreck the car, you can do it."

What the critics said: In spite of London's Times Online and the embarrassing perfect score it awarded DRIV3R, most reviewers declared it mediocre, bland and depressing. Shoddy controls, stupid enemies, dull on-foot missions and game-wrecking bugs were all common complaints, leading Armchair Empire's Lee Cieniawa to write that ""If DRIV3R were a car, it would be recalled for crippling performance issues."

Regardless of their complaints, several critics - particularly British ones - seemed shaken to see their high hopes for the game dashed. Our UK-based sister magazine Edge wrote that "the determination to prioritize style over substance… damages gaming as a whole," while Eurogamer called it "one of the biggest disappointments in the history of videogames." OXM, meanwhile, had no such illusions, comparing the experience to "watching some crappy old cop movie at 3:00 a.m. All we want to do is close our eyes and make it all go away."



Why you bought it anyway: Aside from the Driver series having its own sizable (if by that point dwindling) fanbase, Driv3r looked like a much prettier, more realistic take on Grand Theft Auto. Because the market wasn't quite as saturated with GTA clones as it is today, that was a huge selling point.

What went wrong? For whatever reason, certain people at developer Reflections (also responsible for the Stuntman games) seem to think that punishing difficulty and perfectionism are preferable to actual enjoyment of a game by human beings. That may explain why the missions were as needlessly frustrating as they were, or why free exploration of each sparsely populated city was curbed in favor of a linear, mission-to-mission progression.

It doesn't explain, however, why the on-foot missions were completely half-assed and unnecessary, why the enemies were stupid, why the controls were too touchy when driving and too unresponsive when not, or why entire game was riddled to the core with bugs that would routinely disrupt gameplay. If the developers had demanded the same perfectionism from themselves that they did from players, DRIV3R might have been a contender for GTA's crown.

Most infuriatingly positive quote: Now-defunct GameBiz.com.au called DRIV3R "a technical marvel that sets a new benchmark." Notice the reviewer doesn't say what that benchmark is for. We're going to guess "sucking ass."

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54 comments

  • Terrorrizor - September 4, 2013 1:10 p.m.

    To be honest, Bulletproof is a pretty good game to kill time. I liked being able to shoot a .38 in the left hand while letting a tech rip through enemies on the right. The design complimented the music they put in, and aside from the story which they didn't put much thought into, it was a pretty fun game.
  • darkpigraph - June 16, 2011 11:34 a.m.

    Shiny made that Matrix game? And to think they used to be known for Earthworm Jim and MDK :(
  • PS3pwns - June 15, 2011 2:02 a.m.

    Marvel Nemesis was awesome!!! And spidey 3 was alright.
  • luke1608 - December 13, 2010 8:50 p.m.

    I bought Enter the Matrix, it didn't work and then the games shop refused to refund even though it wasn't scratched or anything, this made it double as shit
  • noporcru623 - October 17, 2010 6:47 a.m.

    driver 3 is funny to play and the movie making is cool, i loved enter the matrix tho i havent played in about 6 years
  • MyGameName - July 16, 2010 12:54 a.m.

    LOL I got Enter the Matrix as a gag gift for my cousin, and it's been floating between a select few of us who actually get it like a twisted game of Hot Potato. I installed it and cheated my way to the end. 5 minutes of my life I'm never getting back. reCAPTCHA: escrow battle
  • mrmorozov987 - July 15, 2010 7:22 p.m.

    Ouch, GamesWave got served! Ah snap!
  • ventanger - February 26, 2010 7:49 a.m.

    Christ... I was one of the poor deluded fools who was suckered into preordering Enter The Matrix due to the Matrix hype and Shiny at the helm. Collectively that game had about 1.85 seconds worth of enjoyment, everything else made me want to hammer a nail halfway into a wall, and then run into it.
  • wiitard07 - December 29, 2009 1:27 a.m.

    I would buy a bargain bin copy of the 50 cent game just to see him get shot repeatedly.
  • pot - October 29, 2009 8:13 a.m.

    God, State of Emergency sucked so bad. My friend had it and acted like it was the best game ever. I was stoned off my ass and still found the game boring as hell. And we all know, pot can make some things better then what they really are. But no dice, didn't work that time.
  • BiscuitGangsta - October 25, 2009 6:49 p.m.

    I bought @ least half of these games, and now I feel ashamed. Thanks a lot GR, lol.
  • micdog2009 - October 24, 2009 7:42 p.m.

    Wii Play Tanks was awesome. totally worth the money.
  • dtzulu - October 23, 2009 10:15 p.m.

    marvel imperfects sucked... driv3r 3 sucked long and hard... marvel ultimate alliance 2 is a let down, predator bites... i can go on and on...
  • kibbles0515 - October 23, 2009 9:51 p.m.

    "Enter the Matrix" was only good if you overlooked the many flaws and embraced the universe/storyline. In retrospect, yes, my dearly beloved "Enter..." was crap, but I can go back now and play only the most fun levels, and that makes me happy. Also, the "hidden" Sparks levels and the hacking are fun, every once in a while. I'm not going to sit and play "Enter..." for 3 hours, but for an hour to 90 minutes, its some good fun while I wait for a newer game to hit store shelves.
  • TestDDs - October 23, 2009 7:48 p.m.

    I have most of these games except for 50 cent and wii play they both can burn in hell 50 cent sould shoo the wii and then his music
  • Illinoissucks - October 23, 2009 1:05 a.m.

    Hey I stole Enter the Matrix from a friend and Kind of liked it but I can't wait for 50 Cent to get gunned down.
  • kodesy - October 22, 2009 7:09 p.m.

    I thought that Path of Neo was a pretty good game..didn't look any better than ETM and it was still kind of clunky but at least you were still playing the actually story. Also, one thing that WAS really sick about Rogue Agent...Bond actually died! Hahaa, eat that Pierce Brosnan, you were the crappiest Bond they ever had!
  • kor2disturbed - October 22, 2009 1:15 p.m.

    Huh well I loved marvel nemesis I thought it was a great game and bought the nintendo ds version and the ps2 version I didnt know you guys at cheatplanet thought it sucked oh well
  • montyburns - October 22, 2009 5:10 a.m.

    "...and also you're an idiot and you smell bad and your website no longer exists"!!! Hahahaha!
  • Cwf2008 - December 6, 2008 5:58 a.m.

    Hey i thought Wii Play was good...well i should say i thought the remote it came with was good. The game sucked, but hey cheap controller!

Showing 1-20 of 54 comments

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