Ask GR Anything: Do boobs actually sell games?

We conduct a cursory examination and consult a professor of marketing 

Words: Andrew_Groen on January 11, 2012

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onetimebuster - January 11, 2012 6:05 p.m.

Why do mullets only look good in mgs games?
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Sinosaur - January 11, 2012 6:20 p.m.

Because Snake is a badass and badasses can make us forget how terrible the things they wear, do, or say really are. Han Solo made wearing a vest look cool because he was cool. Any number of japanese characters have made us forget that you would have SWORN they were a woman (and not the tough, bad ass kind) by swinging stupidly large swords and kicking serious ass. Some of this may actually be the fact that if someone is so unbelievably cool that they make us forget how stupid they look, it just reinforces how awesome they really are.
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profile0000 - January 11, 2012 6:04 p.m.

Damn, that was a really good question. I was honestly surprised at the answer, I thought for sure that "sex sells." I guess that's a positive thing that quality sells over tits.
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Goldeneye007 - January 11, 2012 5:25 p.m.

What was the biggest flop in video game history?
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BaraChat - January 11, 2012 5:46 p.m.

I think it's a widely accepted fact that E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial for Atari 2600 has been holding that title for nearly 3 decades.
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theStig - January 11, 2012 5:21 p.m.

3rd week asking this but how does a pokeball work? Or how does the millenium falcon avoid hitting asteroids when hitting light speed ? I imagine its going to fast to control at such speeds without hitting a planet, star, or other astronomical body. unless it opens a wormhole.
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GamesRadarMatthewKeast - January 11, 2012 5:55 p.m.

I can answer the millenium falcon one. Han Solo even explains it in Episode IV - before you jump to light speed, the computer makes calculations and finds a clear path for you, which won't necessarily be a straight line, but avoids objects. For instance, when Han says he made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs or whatever, you'll notice that parsecs are a distance, not a time. So what makes the millenium falcon so "fast" is its amazing navigation computer - it can calculate the shortest path better than other ships, thus outrunning them. Not really related to videogames, so figured I'd answer here.
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Sinosaur - January 11, 2012 6:26 p.m.

There isn't an actual answer for how Pokeballs works because the creators haven't given one and probably won't since it's not actually important to the story/product. This is one of those things that should just be left well enough alone, because when you start asking how things work you get Midichlorians.
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Sinosaur - January 11, 2012 6:32 p.m.

The actual answer is sort of confusing because Star Wars is full of way too many explanations that may or may not be canon (and it can change at George Lucas's whim). But the computer answer is mostly right; objects that could interfere with a starship in Hyperspace (like planets and other large gravitational bodies) are avoided by carefully plotting a course using computers. There are, however, also different speeds of hyperdrives, and the Millenium Falcon's hyperdrive is faster than most (he brags about how far it can go past light speed in a scene after the parsecs one). So, Millenium Falcon is super awesome due to being able to plot amazing courses and having a faster than normal hyperdrive, but just having the hyperdrive means that he would probably fly into a sun and die. Nobody is controlling the ship while it's in hyperspace, as evidenced by both Han and Chewie sitting around when they're in transit to Alderaan. I wish I didn't know all this stuff.
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Dmancapri - January 11, 2012 8:40 p.m.

Teh pokeball opens up, magical demon power comes out and traps it in an infinite storage unit, then the pokemon is trapped in there. It's probably cold and dark in there (Pikachu doesn't like it).
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Ubnoxish - January 12, 2012 12:16 a.m.

MIDICHLORIANS!?!?! WHY GOD, WHY!?!
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Andrew Groen - January 12, 2012 11:12 a.m.

Hahahaha Yeah, Midichlorians sounds about right. I've looked for an explanation. Even Bulbapedia contains no info.
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Valcrist - January 11, 2012 5:20 p.m.

I got the best question ever; What does Stephen Hawking think of games like Portal or Miegakure? (You did say we could ask anything) Especially about that whole "thinking with portals" mechanic that you eventually develop after some time playing. And also if that would be remotely possible in some point in the future.
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lilbuddha - January 11, 2012 7:02 p.m.

Being able to think about connections between two walls isn't some higher-level thinking miracle. It's just you using simple logic enough times to have a mental pattern, and feeling good about it. It ain't blackhole theory.
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darron13 - January 11, 2012 5:12 p.m.

Good thing I'm gay Though even if I wasn't I wouldn't buy something for the sake of boobs, I'd like to think Fun is a thing that's sorta required before fanservice
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obviouslyadouche - January 11, 2012 5:09 p.m.

The fact that there is an ungodly amount of porn on the internet should mean that teenagers or anyone should no longer buy a game for some clothed oddly proportioned women.
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forestfire55 - January 11, 2012 5 p.m.

I have a question, Can "real life" (cod, mag, bf3, ex.) FPS's improve in any way?
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Sinosaur - January 11, 2012 6:39 p.m.

The answer to your question is that any type of game can improve in some way, although it might not seem immediately obvious what those directions are. Take a moment to think about a game, then think about anything you didn't like about it, no matter how small it may seem. If you didn't find anything, you aren't looking hard enough. That thing you found? There's some way to improve it, even if we might not have the technology at the moment to do so. I used to think I'd never need a game console past the PS2 because 'Oh man, these things look so awesome! Trying to make it look better would be stupid!' ...yeah, there's been a ton of improvements since then, and there will be past this generation and on and on for as long as people give a crap about improving video games.
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talleyXIV - January 11, 2012 4:57 p.m.

Ivy's boobs are a total boner kill for some reason. I think she and Volvo fighting would make a much better ad.
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Sinosaur - January 11, 2012 6:34 p.m.

Now I'm just imagining Ivy getting into a fight with a safe Swedish car (possibly in bondage gear). I don't think her airbags would save her, but the passengers would be fine.
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inkyspot - January 11, 2012 4:50 p.m.

Maybe to teens that are not getting any. There is something about holding some nice firm breast in your hands... and smashing them in your face... I don't think you can do that with digital tatas.
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