An American football player flew to someone's house to beat them at FIFA

To the more culturally myopic of us in Britain, American football appears to be rugby played by sleek mechs that break down every twelve seconds. But, as it turns out, those mechs are actually people, and some of those people have entirely too much money to spend on doing weird shit.

Take Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson. This is a man who once changed his name to match his jersey number - for almost six years. Obviously, he now appears to (as SB Nation points out) spend a lot of time calling himself "#FIFA16KING" on Twitter and then attempting to earn that moniker by insisting on local multiplayer matches, no matter where his opponents might be.

Take, for instance, @_DATBO1WOODY, resident of Miami:

Johnson decided that not only would honour the challenge, but fly from the Bahamas to do so:

It's worth pointing out that he was in such a hurry to dominate that he decided to leave his luggage behind at the airport:

And here's his proof that this wasn't just posturing:

His prediction of 2 hours, 8 minutes until victory wasn't quite as accurate as his prediction of a win - here's the final score (in his favour) 3 hours and 9 minutes after he accepted the challenge:

Fuck fossil fuels, fuck fiscal responsibility and, most of all, fuck you - Chad Johnson will not accept being called out on his FIFA skills. Which is why I want someone from Britain to call him out next - after all, he claims he's the best player in the States. Dude needs to step up and play with the real deal:

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