Amongst the games, press releases and bulging envelopes of cash curiously marked '9/10, yeah?' that we receive from publishers each day we also get clothing. Mainly T-shirts of random ill-fitting sizes. And they fall into three categories: Outdoors, Indoors, and Bin.
Yeah, yeah, videogame movies suck. We're bored of saying it. But regardless of the suckage and widespread critical kicking they receive, they just keep on coming. Why so? We doubt that they're made for the love of it, so it must be because they can actually make a few bucks at the box-office. Can it really be true and, if so, how much money do video game movies actually make?
We picked 10 videogame movies and found out how
Traditionally, a videogame advert is supposed to highlight its product’s strong points in a concise, well-edited package that screams to impressionable consumers: “Buy me, and all my officially-endorsed peripherals!”. That, or be a 30 second, cynically-produced tapestry of lies made to trick and entice people with big explosions, misleading FMV and lady parts.
The latter is the sure-fire path to tread if you’re
Thanks to two films - Chinatown and Blade Runner - every action game is practically required to have a Chinatown level. It’s not the Chinatown you see in real-life - a thriving community and marketplace established over a unique hybrid of Western and Chinese culture – no, it’s all neon signs and gangsters, dragon statues and tile roofs. A lot of tile roofs. And it's usually in the future or
What’s the best part of any car race? The mad crazy wrecks. Hockey game? When a 6’5” Czech man-beast levels a lesser player with a right hook. Ultimate fighting? The whole thing. We like seeing people destroy each other; it’s in our blood. Or maybe it’s in their blood, and the way it spills everywhere and inspires unanimous ‘YEAHs from stadiums full of adrenaline junkies too timid to risk their own
The human form really is a beautiful thing – provided you spend 6 hours daily in the gym and exist solely on Ryvita. If not, it’s something to be covered up, ashamed of and never discussed. Sadly, many developers have no such qualms with nude, fleshy parts. They see games as the perfect forum to roll out a bit of man boob action and unappealing, exposed ass flesh.
Got a strong stomach? The following collection of bloated
They're just trying to be friendly - so come and watch them sing and play. They're the young generation - and they've got something to say. Sounds kinda like "Ooo ook ook oo aaaah! Aaah! Aaaaaaaah!"
Hot on the tyre tracks of Rockstar's The Lost & Damned DLC for GTAIV, comes Midnight Club L.A.'s expansion pack set in South Central. Let us take you through the numbers that count before you splurge your hard-earned money on March 12th...
In all honesty, some games would be better off left on the whiteboard at the design meeting. Whether they're too ambitious, too expensive or simply too good to be true, we're frequently led to imagine great things only to have our expectations dashed when the game finally arrives. How could these games be so good on paper yet underwhelm so spectacularly? Let's take a look...
Breaking news! Toad isn’t actually a toad... street fighting doesn’t involve fireballs… guns rarely come with chainsaws attached… and a theoretical physicist has never spent his scientific career smashing zombie head crabs with a blood-soaked crowbar.
As we demonstrated last week, however, the real world would be a hell of a lot more interesting if any of the above was true.