Every dog has its day. But we're not talking about dogs. We're talking about video games. Video games that were once great and mighty and strong but have for whatever reason failed to retain their status as being a big deal. These are all games that at one time or another created a deafening, self-perpetuating buzz around themselves. But now...? Well, they're just 'big' games that don't get the love like they used to.
We like to end things on a positive note. That’s why 2009 was capped with not only our annual Platinum Chalice Awards, but also a whole week’s worth of celebratory articles talking about the accomplishments of the past decade. Now though, with ’09 safely out of range for a retaliatory strike, we can piss all over the idiotic, baffling and just plain dumb occurrences that peppered our otherwise fine year.
Ladies and gentlemen of gaming, we’re facing something of a crisis. An entire generation of standout games is becoming more and more lost to time. They’re drifting away partly because they’re old and haven’t had a moment in the spotlight for years, but more importantly, they’re aging like fine vintage vomit, and are probably so confusingly ugly they’re preventing a whole heap o’ first timers from even giving them a try.
When you look back over the past ten years, what will you remember? The sparkly new consoles? The fantastic new franchises? The exciting, unforgettable moments that made you proud to be a gamer?
Yeah, we’ll certainly reminisce about those over the coming week of decade-themed features. We’ll pick the best characters, the sexiest stars, the most memorable moments and the important-est games.
A choke hold is a great bonding experience. Not between you and the man who’s holding a gun to your head – there’ll always be a tragic, longing awkwardness in that relationship – but between you and your fellow player, the guy flitting from shadow to shadow, circling around to spring up behind your captor and snap his neck like a bony pencil.
Christmas is nearly here, and we can’t wait for it to be over. After spending over an hour in line with a stressed out mother struggling to wrestle candy from her brood of bratty toddlers, we desperately wanted to punch her screaming cubs in the face. But it’s not just the crowds and children that we hate. We have plenty leftover for all the gaudy lights, too. How wasteful!
Have you ever heard someone say, “sometimes words aren’t enough?” That person was probably talking about books. Yes, books may seem like nothing more than a primitive ancestor to videogames, and in some ways, they are. Books are linear, non-interactive, and require little to no skill to write. They might even be obsolete today if it weren’t for people with no reflexes. But books aren’t entirely without merit, because occasionally they're adapted into some really great videogames
Anyone want to take bets on how long Bioshock 2’s multiplayer will last? If a multiplayer mode isn’t hugely popular, it isn’t at all. They either prosper or die, especially on consoles, where the community that can develop around dedicated servers isn’t present.
Unless you’re well schooled in anime from the ‘70s, you probably won’t recognize many of the fighters set to appear in Tatsunoko vs. Capcom: Ultimate All-Stars. Of course, years of gaming have taught us everything we need to know about the Capcom characters in this gigantic crossover fighting game for the Wii. But who the heck is Doronjo or Gold Lightan?
It's a rare occurrence nowadays, but every once in a while, a game you’ve never even heard of comes along and absolutely blows you away. Sometimes it's a little indie gem that didn't get enough promotion. Other times, what appears to be a quick cash-in turns out to be an awesome game.