Citizen Zane

Alex Zane's views on the Hollywood news

One of the most terrifying movies of many a childhood is getting the remake treatment .

Stephen King’s It was a prime example of how to encourage bedwetting in children: Tim Curry, covered in greasepaint, hanging around in sewers, tearing little boys’ arms off...

It’s going to be difficult to find anyone as terrifying as Curry to play child-killing clown Pennywise. I can only think of one person – Tim Curry. Or force an actual clown to live in the sewers for a year prior to shooting with only a DVD of Problem Child for company.

Things are looking promising for a sequel to Prometheus .

Ridley Scott has even hinted at a possible title: Paradise. The suggested story follows [MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT!] Rapace and Fassbender on their journey to the Engineer home planet to confront a ‘God-like creature’ only to find out Paradise is far from, er, paradise.

It all sounds bit like Star Trek V. .. The Enterprise travels to desolate planet to meet their supposed creator. Creator turns out to be a bit of a dick. And Uhura performs a do-it-yourself caesarean to remove an alien foetus. Or was it a creepy fan dance? I can’t be sure.

But before Prometheus scribe Damon Lindelof can start writing a sequel, he’s busy saving some zombies .

He’s been brought in to “rework” the third act of Brad Pitt’s troubled adaptation of Max Brooks’ excellent novel, World War Z .

Apparently the filmmakers struggled with the most basic question of how their undead should even move. It’s quite simple: a slow, shuffling gait: good. Having them do the Macarena: bad.

Something that wasn’t bad was 2011’s amazing Green Lantern movie. No? Of course no.

It’s remembered for having the worst onscreen villain in recent memory and being a bit shit. Quite why the filmmakers decided Parallax should resemble a giant space fart is a question too big to be answered here.

It’s probably contributed to why Warner Bros is delaying their decision as to whether to greenlight a sequel or ditch Ryan Reynolds and reboot from scratch. I say reboot and let Reynolds get on with the Deadpool movie. As for the new Lantern? Nathan Fillion please.

Gore Verbinski’s The Lone Ranger has apparently gone way over budget, despite having expensive scenes with CGI werewolves cut (Good, sounded very Van Helsing ).

The increase is due to Verbinski insisting on new steam trains rather than re-using old ones.

Sounds like he hasn’t forgiven the studio for axing his werewolves. GV (talking like a child): “Build me a train. NOW!” Disney: “Er... Mr Verbinski, we have old ones you could use.” GV: “No train. No movie.... And I want a scene where crabs move the train and Jack Sparrow meets loads of versions of himself.” Disney (worried): “Jack Sparrow?”

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