A year in breasts

Soul Calibur IV

And finally we get to the breast story of the year, where we found out what the girls of Soul Calibur were up to in the hiatus between the release of the last game and now – having their breasts injected with porridge.

Taki’s bosom has always been generous, exemplified by her tendency to dress in opaque Lycra. In fact, we’ve just realised in a moment of silent contemplation that if you’re prepared to believe she’s been bathing in beetroot juice, she might as well be fully nude, barring a bit of armor.

For Soul Calibur IV however, Taki’s boobs have been designed by a hormone-addled 13-year-old. They’re simply unfathomable and totally impractical for the fighting physique. If she gets punched in them it’s going to hurt and she isn’t even wearing a sports bra. Don’t believe us? Take a closer inspection.

And stop looking down there, you dirty perv.

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