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A rotting pile of gaming's cutest undead

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Skeleton Bee (Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins)

Another fantastic example of how something that’s cute when alive can be even more charming when undead, the skeleton bee brings it with delightful body patterns and a very fashionable skull face. Like his landbound counterpart Dry Bones, Bee isn’t about to let some fat Italian stop him from delivering his death pollen - a simple stomping isn’t enough to slow down this harbinger of cutemageddon.

Cutest features: Turns being originally rendered in black and white from a liability into an asset (cutesset?)

Endearing flaws: Yes he’s a stinging insect, but he just wants to sting you with love.

Cuter than:


Mummified Cats (Tomb Raider)

We would be fired from the internet if we wrote an entire article about cute things and didn’t include at least one kitten on our list. Thankfully, Lara Croft and her bizarre bestiary are here to save our ridiculous “jobs” by way of mummy kitties, hands down the cutest thing on the planet that’s been wrapped in bandages and had its brain liquefied. Cats that play the keyboard or lol a lot are fine we suppose, but we prefer our felines a little more ferocious, and in this case, considerably more dead.

Cutest features: Who needs soft kitty fur when you’ve got desiccated bandages occasionally moistened by cat/adventurer blood?

Endearing flaws: Minor attitude problem, but you’d be ornery too if you couldn’t see anything and had to watch your brain trickle out of your nostrils in smoothie form.

Cuter than: Imagine a picture of your cat with some band-aids on its face here.


Count von Count (Sesame Street: Countdown)

Oh, come the fuck on. A vampire muppet that wants to teach children/animals how to count and is called Count von Count? He’s married to a lady muppet named Countess von Backwards? He vants to suck your fruit juice? Where slipping razor fanged corpses into children’s media is concerned (and being ridiculously adorable in the process), nobody beats the Street.

Cutest features: As mental disorders go, arithmomania’s gotta be the cutest. The Count once stopped Ernie from answering the phone because he wanted to count the rings. Swoon.

Endearing flaws: Any of his flaws are apparently too endearing for us to notice. Never change, Count.  <3

Cuter than:

Mar 8, 2011

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20 comments

  • AuthorityFigure - March 13, 2011 10:11 a.m.

    The shot of that dead turtle on the beach is actually a very sombre shot. Very sad...
  • Mumb00 - March 10, 2011 3:18 a.m.

    EXTREME indignation for the most glaring of omissions! How, in the name of Tim Schafer, could the most thoroughly adorable undead character in this universe, and every other universe like it, not have been given so much as an honorable mention when she should have been given the top billing for this whole article?!?! I am referring to, and this explains my Tim Schafer reference, to Lupe, the coat-check girl/skeleton in Grim Fandango! She has a zest for life that the actual living don't have and her voice, provided courtesy of a Terri Ivens as I am informed by IMDB, is the kind of slightly raspy that one can get from yelling YAY!! at every slight nuance of her post-mortem existence, particularly when bossman Manny gives her a chance to describe her patented coat-check system! Cuter than: try to picture a prim and proper butler taking your coat when arriving for the box social.
  • Vulneratus - March 9, 2011 10:02 p.m.

    I could never figure out what the hell those things in the original Tomb Raider were!! I thought they were mummies with an identity crisis! Cats, you say? Entertaining and informative as always GR
  • TheWebSwinger - March 9, 2011 9:56 p.m.

    Ha! He wrote "fuck". I thought only Tdar had the privilege...
  • philipshaw - March 9, 2011 8:35 p.m.

    Quality feature
  • jackthemenace - March 9, 2011 4:55 p.m.

    Can I just point out, the practically undead/immortal Bees from MGS3's The Pain boss fight weren't cute, they were F*CKING ANNOYING.
  • Fr00b - March 9, 2011 3:01 p.m.

    those were mummified CATS?
  • thecakeisalie96 - March 9, 2011 4:56 a.m.

    Go dry bones ill never stop stomping on you
  • SwishiestB0g - March 9, 2011 2:30 a.m.

    I could've given you the best (read = most horrific) picture for mummified cats! If only I had known! As usual you make me love you GR.
  • D0CCON - March 9, 2011 1:01 a.m.

    What about Gengar? Oh wait, he isn't cute, just badass.
  • Memph - March 9, 2011 12:34 a.m.

    Metal Slug 2 mummies and Metal Slug 3 zombies deserving of a mention methinks.
  • grizzly311 - March 8, 2011 11:35 p.m.

    Dry Bones was a beast in Mario Tennis.
  • garnsr - March 8, 2011 11:35 p.m.

    I just had some Count Chocula for the first time in ages. Pretty good.
  • Austin_SJ - March 8, 2011 11:23 p.m.

    The count is my facebook pic right now. Otherwise I hate this article for providing pro-zombie propoganda for the eventual apocalypse.
  • NightCrawler_358 - March 8, 2011 10:39 p.m.

    I'm surprised that Plants vs Zombies wasn't on the list, but i really like Dry Bones.
  • ninjaemperor - March 8, 2011 10:15 p.m.

    OMG, does GR have uncensored fucks now, or did that slip by the editors?
  • Bearplane - March 8, 2011 9:51 p.m.

    how can Plants vs Zombies not be mentioned here.
  • bobbybroccoli - March 8, 2011 9:20 p.m.

    What? No Bongo-Bongo? It's a pair of giant hands! Playing a bongo!
  • db1331 - March 8, 2011 9:16 p.m.

    Dry Bones is one of the coolest video game baddies, period. From his name to the fact that he just keeps coming back, he is awesome.
  • FrozenImplosion - March 8, 2011 9:16 p.m.

    Tag = my reaction Otherwise, interesting article.

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