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8 things old gamers moan about

New-Fangled Watchamajig: Motion Controls

Curmudgeonly Gamer Says: ‘’My bones are too brittle for me to stand and move simultaneously. What’s wrong with the humble thumbstick?’’


Above: British Politician Nick Clegg. Party’s over, folks

Open-Mind Gamer Says: While we agree that a massive appeal of gaming lies in lounging on the couch, your most strenuous exertion a flick of the finger, there is definitely a place for new methods of videogame interaction, provided they actually work. Couch-potato-gaming has its place, but as anyone who’s played Sports Champions with the PlayStation Move will attest, step-on-the-cat’s-tail gaming can be a riot. And for onlookers, there is no better divorce bait than Wii Boxing. The smiles are fake but the tears are real.


New-Fangled Watchamajig: First-person shooters

Curmudgeonly Gamer Says: ‘’Call me an old-fashioned Wolfenstein-3D man, but today’s shooters are appalling. Where is the creativity? BioShock you say? Well...’’*splutters into handkerchief*


Above: Timeless 

Open-Mind Gamer Says: It’s natural for a certain people to hate what’s popular (they’re called ‘stubborn’). In gaming it’s the FPS genre so, appropriately, it comes under fire by folks who deem it puerile and trivial. After all, how can the unwashed masses possibly have good taste? Well, Grandpa, there’s a reason Halo: Reach and Black Ops sell millions – because they’re quality games. How about putting down that walking stick and giving them a go?


New-Fangled Watchamajig: Online Gamers younger than you

Curmudgeonly Gamer Says: ‘’Children should be neither seen nor heard, especially online, where even though I can’t see or hear them (when I use the mute function) the very thought of their youthful laughter makes me rueful.’’


Above: Cause for concern, but shake the sand out of your ass and get over it, grandpa

Open-Minded Gamer Says: Contrary to the nostalgic reminisces of a ‘golden generation’ who swear left their doors unlocked at night, not all children run on a diet of fizzy drinks and stolen sweets, and for those you run into online that do there are three courses of action: mute, report, find a new match (and possibly some new friends). The sharp rise and seemingly tactical offensive of that notorious gaming bane that sets FPS forums ablaze – the ‘12-year old COD kid’ – isn’t as widespread as you’d think, and, we’re ashamed to say, there are just as many potty mouthed adults out there.


New-Fangled Watchamajig: Activision Blizzard CEO Bobby Kotick

Curmudgeonly Gamer Says: "How Kotick makes me pine for the days of the humble bedroom programmer. What an unscrupulous young man he is."


Above: Unscrupulous 

Open-Minded Gamer Says: Uh, you have a point.

Hate gamers who moan? Want to have a moan yourself? Moan your moans away in the comments!

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85 comments

  • rxb - March 18, 2011 1:52 a.m.

    I feel like i should moan but the article is too well written, I'l get back to you when my old mind thinks something up.... Btw on the disc DLC is day light robbery.
  • tobz1000 - March 18, 2011 1:12 a.m.

    Most of these responses sound sarcastic. I really can't tell what stance the author is taking...
  • DreamWeaverPL - March 18, 2011 12:37 a.m.

    "Open-Minded Gamer"? Should be just a "newbie", or a "newfag". A child that likes what it is presented with, devoid of any critical thought. In my days, we played FPP games with a mouse and a keyboard.
  • Crimsonkingx - March 18, 2011 12:29 a.m.

    I hate cakes! ....So god damn delicious...
  • Kyo - March 17, 2011 11:39 p.m.

    So. Damn. True. lol old dudes are about on par with elitists -_- They hate change and think every thing should be there way :/ Then again we have the young new generation of gamers that think every game should be CoD or Halo :c crap... I think we're all screwed up.
  • BazyLastard - March 17, 2011 11:27 p.m.

    Educate and elevate: stereotype noun "...a standardized mental picture that is held in common by members of a group and that represents an oversimplified opinion, prejudiced attitude, or uncritical judgment" example: see this article.
  • NightCrawler_358 - March 17, 2011 9:48 p.m.

    I don't like DLC, especially from Capcom. I don't mind if an RPG has DLC because they're usually pretty good. Also, I don't care if somebody is too young to play a game, but I just think their parents should watch them play online to make sure they don't go all swear-bear on the mic. Potty-mouth 8-year olds is what makes me cross.
  • aaron171 - March 17, 2011 8:50 p.m.

    reply to the "new game" FPS...black ops was not a quality game. it only sells well because of the first three words in the title. COD games have been crap since MW1
  • DizzyDial - March 17, 2011 7:08 p.m.

    My biggest complain is that Sqaure Enix is terrible, Squaresoft is where it's at.
  • MancisFrorkYorgan - March 17, 2011 6:38 p.m.

    I will always take issue with pre-planned DLC. It is morally wrong to withhold content you could have included in the original price. It's almost a sort of ransom. I hate being made to feel like I'm missing out just because I'm not willing to pay for content which should have been included with the hard copy of the game in the first place.
  • Cwf2008 - April 23, 2012 8:27 p.m.

    Morally wrong? Maybe. If you think that you're entitled to everything. Remember that this is a capitalist society and the developers need to make a living too
  • lilspooky - March 17, 2011 6:16 p.m.

    Glad we can come together, young or old, we can agree, We hate Activision Blizzard CEO Bobby Kotick!!
  • freakyfro99 - March 17, 2011 5:48 p.m.

    "Open minded" gamer isn't open minded, he just doesn't give a damn that he's getting generally screwed over or maybe doesn't know that things weren't always like this. The only part that really aggravates me is the DLC. DLC that unlocks everything is perfectly fine by me, maybe you don't have the time. Hell I know I don't have the time to unlock everything sometimes. The DLC that bothers me is the DLC that gets announced while the game is still in production, the DLC that isn't really DLC but that unlocks things that are ALREADY ON THE DISC. Some of it is ridiculous. Fighting games these days look like they're going to start gearing towards selling a bunch of characters through DLC as well when they could just be on the disc when you first buy the game. Gaming doesn't seem too expensive when you just look at the cost of the game, but you have to factor in all the crazy DLC that companies want you to get along with it, and that you pretty much have to get in order to get the most out of your game. I'm 21, even I knew that when I bought a game as a kid or even a teenager I was going to get the full experience of the game without shelling out and extra $10-$30.
  • NuclearXmas - March 17, 2011 5:22 p.m.

    CAPST3R speaks the truth
  • CAPST3R - March 17, 2011 5:12 p.m.

    These aren't the things we moan about! They are: EA/Activision's refusal to provide decent servers (BF excluded). COD. Everything within COD. Everyone who plays COD. The acronym COD (I genuinely hate it). Shortness of games. Lack of originality in games (FPSs in particular). Game-ruining changes in sequels (RF:G 3rd person). Lack of character development. Lack of variety in weapons/vehicles/settings. Over-priced DLC. Gimmicks (3D, Move, et cetera). Facebook on PS3 (and maybe 360, I don't know). The Wii. Activision. Treyarch. Sony keeping things secret for too long. Microsoft's bribery. Lacking polish/unfinished games (e.g TDU2). Out of date engines (Gamebryo-Fallout). Microphones (just plain hate the things). Gamers who don't play as a part of a team. ReCaptcha. All that, and I'm 15.
  • NuclearXmas - March 17, 2011 4:34 p.m.

    So basically, those who reject or oppose corporate gimmicks such as paying 5$ just to have prettier armor, or shelling out 1600 "Microsoft fun dollars" so you can unlock everything, are just "stupid old grandpa" gamers. And those who actually fall for the cheap marketing techniques are suave, intelligent gamers. This has to be one of the worst articles I've seen on gamesradar. The fact that you actually defend stupid gimmicks like DLC, pre-order bonuses, and motion controls. And for that matter do it by merely saying "those who buy DLC are cool, and those who don't are old losers!" is absolutely pathetic. What's even worse is that some people seem to agree with this article. The reality of it is that pre-order bonuses do nothing more but alienate players who never had a chance to get the game in the first place. While players who do have it quickly grow tired of it. And do you really believe you can justify selling DLC that merely unlocks content in the game is justifiable? I can understand why some DLC, like map packs and extra missions, would cost money. Big add-ons are strenuous projects that probably take a lot of time and effort to make. (E.X. The fallout 3 add-ons) But to charge for trivial shit that only makes your character look nice (E.X. Dead Space, Fable 3, Mass Effect 2, Oblivion, Skate, Castle Crashers, Dead Rising 2) is revolting, especially when you take into consideration the fact that most modders in the PC community will do similar/better stuff for free. Motion controls are, much like 3-D, a ploy. And even if it is a neat concept. Barely impacts gameplay in a positive way. And I don't care what microsoft says, the Kinect is in no way a "revolutionary technology", just a rediculously hyped and super expensive eyetoy. But as long as the publishers are the ones paying you to talk about their games. I'm sure the interest of actual gamers is of no real concern to you.
  • lawless77 - March 17, 2011 4:28 p.m.

    Maybe I'm not quite old enough to agree with the observations in this article. However, at 42, I likely an elder statesman of gaming, and in all honestly none of the points here resonated with me. Dark, desaturated visuals: I love dark, brooding games. The Fallout series, Bioshock, Dead Space, Metro 2033 and one of my all-time faves, STALKER, are all on my hit list. The bleaker and grittier, the better. DLC: I love DLC! If it's a game I really like, I'm thrilled to have more gameplay opened up to me. Fallout 3, Borderlands, Just Cause 2, Mass Effect; just a few I've titles who's DLC I've gobbled up. And having to pay for it doesn't bother me at all. As a gainfully employed adult, I've got money to spend on games and I don't mind doing so. FPS: Probably my favorite genre. I've played them all and am thrilled to see that they look better, play better and push the boundries of story-telling and creativity every year that goes by. And as for Bioshock; absolutely brilliant in my book. Online gaming and gamers: Here's where you're a little closer to the target. I don't play a whole lot of online multiplayer games. The reasons why I prefer a solid single-player game are legion and far too complicated to get into here. The point is that it has very little to do with my experiences with other gamers. One reason may be that while I own (and have owned) just about every major console there's ever been, I'm primarily a PC gamer. It just seems to me that one tends to find a more mature crowd in the PC pool than in the console arena. Motion controls: I've got a Wii and the Move. Tons of potential there, especially with the latter. I've got no issues here. Anything that's helping the medium to evolve is okay by me Bobby Kotick: Meh. Don't care too much either way. But yes, Activision were the heroes of alterna-gaming for me back in the 2600 days. 'Skiing', 'Barnstorming', 'Pitfall'...I used to love all the old Activision carts. So what do I moan about? You missed the big one: playing with a controller versus a mouse. This is a debate I have with my young nephews all the time. I've become spoiled by the precision of the mouse and playing a FPS with a controller feels to me like going into combat wearing mittens and a neck brace. I don't know how these kids do it. I don't mean to be over-critical here. It really was fun and engaging article. I just had to take a moment to bust some stereotypes.
  • StealthEagle - March 17, 2011 4:24 p.m.

    Fallout 3 and Viva Pinata? Why not? For LOL experience, I don't mind seeing post-apocalyptic sugary world for a moment. Anyway, back in the days, DLCs were called expansion packs, hell, they were full of contents enough to be called standalone games. I miss those days... Oh, and what's up with those (cheap) collector's editions for every single game on earth? The "Collector's" has been badly misused, and it's really sad.
  • Japanaman - March 17, 2011 4:19 p.m.

    And seriously, why can't more FPS look like Metroid Prime or Halo? Shooters are so UG-UL-LAY!!!
  • Japanaman - March 17, 2011 4:18 p.m.

    As an old Gamer, I have to agree with everything is article said. Motion controls are more difficult to use than standard controls schemes, DLC should be free since we already paid for the game so I never spend more than $2 on any DLC, I don't pre-order because you can often get pre-ordered video game stuff used super cheap down the road, little kids shouldn't play games reserved for seventeen year olds, and and I'm not paying to dress up avatars. I only pay to dress up brawny men in tights in WWE Smackdown. Or make naked women in SD! using GameSharks, Action Replays, Codebreakers, or really skilled coloring.

Showing 1-20 of 85 comments

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