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Image courtesy of Sonic Gear

Sonic bike helmet

What is this shit?

After tearing through environments at breakneck speeds, our favorite hedgehog whores out public safety, even though he’s way too cool for helmets and would never, ever be caught dead wearing one.

WTF?

Playing it safe is not something Sonic is really known for. Why should we have to protect our fragile skulls and brain matter if Sonic is known for snowboarding down steep roads without any pads? Who says we can’t bike on the freeway unprotected while Sonic vaults over cliffs with nary a concern? Sonic’s one extreme dude, and we’re pretty sure that wearing his official bike helmet is a sure way to dishonor him. We promise not to disappoint you, Sonic. Please visit us in the ER.

20 comments

  • yoshilover1 - May 20, 2011 10:03 p.m.

    second!
  • Halloffamer - October 26, 2009 2:25 a.m.

    Wat is up with the sonic helmet he runs faster then anyone can ride a bike and he didnt wear a helment
  • AA95mp - August 31, 2009 6:59 p.m.

    that hentai is disturbing. and lol at gaypenguinmans comment.
  • egregious - July 30, 2009 6:41 p.m.

    I had a Sonic the Hedgehog helmet. :( I make no apologies!
  • Hellwilder - June 5, 2009 1:46 a.m.

    lol at Hentai xD I mean, those are things only disturbed minds draw :S
  • thephntm - January 15, 2009 12:06 a.m.

    lol hentai is for hornys
  • smellypeanut - January 12, 2009 12:51 a.m.

    Oh come on guys, like you've never masturbated to dojinshi before.
  • EvilInkarnate - January 11, 2009 8:47 a.m.

    Wow!! The Japanese truly terrify me. Between game hentai and the creepy pillow, the Pikachu car that reminds me of Ren with a cranked up Happy Helmet on, I hope to never go to Japan. The Mario cup though...?? ::shudders::
  • dynomit272 - January 9, 2009 6:40 p.m.

    want the pikachu car! want the pokémon cereal! both must be awesome
  • SkullSplitter - January 8, 2009 7:03 p.m.

    Hey, who wouldn't want Pikachu car? LOL
  • CashWheel - December 27, 2008 8:57 p.m.

    First!
  • comm22 - September 2, 2009 1:08 p.m.

    i fucking love living in japan. theres a car dealership down the street that sells the pickachcu car and there are 2 different pokemon airplanes here too lol
  • Gaypenguinman - July 31, 2009 4:46 a.m.

    The last thing i would ever expect is a drive-by from a pikachu car.
  • uz_mike222 - July 28, 2009 9:56 p.m.

    i agree with you entirely on both things ranzatsu, its basically get bitched slapped by a dog. its creepy and humiliating at the same time. but i will give the Japanese one thing: Godzilla.
  • ranzatsu - July 28, 2009 11:47 a.m.

    Japanese people creep me out. Someone I know read one of those doujinshi of Tifa and Aerith making out and to add up the horror, Cloud was watching. Freaky, huh? And the Tetris board should be given to retards, not actual human society. No offense.
  • Squall5005 - May 12, 2009 2:06 p.m.

    I know this is an old article but it annoys me that you have slated the Tetris board game. If you had done your research you would know that it was a board game that inspired Tetris, not the other way around. The game was is called 'Pentomino' and the idea of the game is to fill the given field without leaving any gaps or spaces. Alexey Pazhitnov was inspired by 'Pentomino' and eventually created out beloved 'Tetris' So Tetris is infact the Anti-Pentomino. I do love Tetris and I still play it to this day. But the fact that you seem to be so angry about this board game would make me think you too are a big tetris fan. But your limited knowledge suggests otherwise. I do agree that this would make an terrible birthday present.
  • SheetSandwich - January 11, 2009 11:47 p.m.

    The Japenese are sick, psycotic, sexualy repressed freaks. It's a generalization, but it stands true in this case.
  • thatonekid1995 - January 10, 2009 7:10 a.m.

    The first 7 pages were alright but then page 8 was extremely uncomfortable especially when being observed with your younger brother at side
  • norcemastero - January 10, 2009 2:55 a.m.

    i'd like to snag a copy or to of that doujinshi
  • Catherine - January 9, 2009 5:28 p.m.

    There was some better Nintendo cereal. It was Pokemon cereal. It had marshmallows!

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