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8 horrible Achievements only a madman would attempt

Brothers in Arms: Hell’s Highway

Achievement: Obsessive

Above: How to make a WWII game feel like a real tour of duty 

Why it’s horrible: You have to play the game, connected to Xbox Live, at least once a day for 100 days. With the multiplayer massively underwhelming and the campaign long completed, by the end of that you'll want to wipe every record of playing the game from your memory, not collect another momento.


Trials HD

Achievement: Marathon (original version)

Above: No further explanation necessary 

Why it’s horrible: You had to complete 24 tracks of a really hard game in a really hard row without making a single error, which is really hard. And the track line-up included some from the Hard difficulty bracket. Which are mis-named, because they’re actually really hard. In fact this one was so hard that the devs eventually changed it to take the Hard tracks out. Because seriously, it was really, really, really hard. And still is, but just not as much.


Tiger Woods ’06

Achievement: Aren’t you sick of this yet?

Above: Ditto 

Why it’s horrible: You had to play 1000 online matches. Which would have had you waking up screaming from nightmares about sandtraps for the rest of your life as it was, but on top of that, EA has killed the game’s servers since it was released, meaning that loads of people probably got halfway through this one before realising that ALL THEIR EFFORTS, HOPES AND DREAMS HAD BEEN FOR NOTHING.


Final Fantasy XI

Achievement: Over half of them

Above: Your eternal soul is ours! 

Why it’s horrible: Over half the Achievement Points in MMO FFXI relate to levelling the game’s various job classes up to their maximum cap of lv. 75. Just doing that once will take absolutely bloody months. Doing it 18 times will take absolutely bloody months x 18. If you like grinding that much, there are less painful ways to do it. Like using a disc sander and your face.

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40 comments

  • PolarBearsInHeat - August 11, 2011 4:41 a.m.

    Seriously 3.0 is going to be the biggest bitch ever. level 100 and onyx medals on everything
  • Skykid - November 28, 2010 9:01 p.m.

    Don't try the "If they came to hear me beg" achievment on Halo:Reach. It's f*cking impossible and it drives you nuts.
  • Defguru7777 - November 26, 2010 2:27 a.m.

    I agree Achievements should be hard, but not impossibly difficult.
  • PolarBearsInHeat - November 25, 2010 8:54 p.m.

    using a disc sander on your face. Laughed myself off my chair
  • Duke1394 - November 25, 2010 8:05 p.m.

    Noone should be complaining about the "Seriously 2.0" achievement from Gears of War 2 The same Achievement from the 1st GoW is Hell At least in GoW2, you can get these kills in ANY mode, while the 1st requires it to be online
  • Heyexclamationpoint - May 9, 2010 4:13 a.m.

    Whoever said Burnout Revenge is right. That game turned me off on the concept of Achievements.
  • MitsuharuSan - May 9, 2010 1 a.m.

    As much as I know that online playing is really important nowadays, I truly think they should get rid of the online achievements. Yes, that's right. Not everyone has the time/connection to complete them, you know... I'm one of those poor-forgotten-souls wich does not connect to Live for a series of reasons (including paying a lot of taxes and things so I just can't think about losing money on a console online service), so I get seriously disappointed when I can't complete the achievements for a game because of that reason... I mean, give rewards or something for the ones that can/does play online, but stick the achievements for offline so everyone will have a chance.
  • Mexiflan - May 8, 2010 11:44 p.m.

    You guys remember that achievement in GHIII where you had to win 15 online ranked matches with a regular controller? I can't even play a song on medium with a regular f*cking controller.
  • scaz231 - May 8, 2010 7:42 p.m.

    What about the achievement in dark sector for getting 1000 kills in one online game. That was a bstrd
  • Rub3z - May 8, 2010 6:48 p.m.

    The Little Rocket Man achievement was in fact more a test of skill and patience than these soul-destroying examples. These, as the name of the article implies, are just lunacy. Btw, have you guys heard of the One Free Bullet achievement? That one was also hard, but I decided to get it on my first playthrough of Episode One :DDDD Yeah, Valve loves to make these kinds of tests of skill and willpower. More examples include: Beating all campaigns on expert in Left 4 Dead (1 and 2), The realism expert achievement, the gnome achievement in L4D2, playing through a campaign without taking damage from special infected in L4D1, no damage during a finale in L4D1, the protection achievements in Half-Life 2 were also pretty hard (protecting the buildings outside the missile silo comes to mind... *shudder*), and any of those Portal challenge achievements... now those are difficult... does anybody have all of those?
  • Silentboy - May 8, 2010 4:30 p.m.

    Yeah I gotta agree that Seriously 2.0 should have been here.
  • ihopethisisnotantistasblood - May 8, 2010 4:22 p.m.

    what about the bladder of steel from rock band 2
  • philipshaw - May 8, 2010 11:44 a.m.

    These are dumb, why would anyone waste their time trying to get these
  • KnightDehumidifier - May 8, 2010 7:14 a.m.

    Four words: Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter, with the most painful three achievements on Xbox 360... World Champion, Solo Champion and Co-Op Champion. How do you earn these, get the top spot (as in no. 1) on the leaderboards. Oh wait, how about an achievement for ten thousand kills in multiplayer? Sure! Also, there's another one for playing on multiplayer 8 HOURS STRAIGHT! In the words of Tracy Morgan, "NO, I AIN'T DOIN' IT!"
  • VictorRay - May 8, 2010 4:23 a.m.

    @Leyviur, I think that's more the level of god-like patience
  • Leyviur - May 8, 2010 3:52 a.m.

    I got 7 Day Survivor in Dead Rising. Does that make me a horrible person? Also, Infinite Undiscovery's Seraphic Gatekeeper achievement (which I also got) should be on this list. You have to beat the super hard secret boss on the hardest difficulty. Just so you know, the hardest difficulty's first fight involves fighting off two enemies who can OHKO you, have over 300 HP apiece, and you deal one damage per hit. In other words, torture.
  • Cyberninja - May 8, 2010 1:59 a.m.

    wow i think i would kill someone if i had to do any of these.
  • LIKEUCARE - May 7, 2010 10:45 p.m.

    A Trophy I kinda hated trying to achieve was that "The Six Pack" from Aliens vs Predator 2010. You have to play one ranked match with 6 friends from your PSN friendlist in the SAME TEAM... took forever to get... and since AVP2010 MP matchmaking sucks real bad, my patience almost ran dry! The nightmare mode in AVP2010 was a pain too... no checkpoints and if you die, you start all over again! At least, the missions are short so not too bad! Another Trophy I disliked... that Treasure Hunter in FFXIII. Have to "handle" every accessories and weapons of the game... took me a while, but still got it nonetheless. Trophies I hate the most are the ones depending on Online gameplay... since you depend on other players and that is not skilled-based of your own actions. 10,000 kills or something are crazy stupid trophies that are just a time sink and would simply prefer playing something else instead. But, everyone's gotta agree that the worst ever possible Trophies/Achievements would be the grindfest ones. Trophies requiring you to do the same thing over and over for months/years are purely lack of skill from developers. Some trophies/achievements with speedgaming can be lame too, but not impossible. Some collecting trophies sucks bad too... especially the ones that doesn't do a thing once you collected all the required stuff for the trophy unless you crave about unlockable concept arts...
  • Skykid - May 7, 2010 9:27 p.m.

    I bet Tiger is also sick of women harassing his with golf clubs. OHHHHHHH, BURN!!! Here is a few more that would drive you mad: Halo 3 Sandbox skull Vidmaster: Annual (Halo 3) Complete Force Unleashed campaign on HARD Vidmaster: Endure (ODST) Post Mortem (Halo 3) GAHHHH , Must. resist. bashing. controller. on. console. >=(((((
  • D0CCON - May 7, 2010 9:01 p.m.

    @allthegoodnamesweretaken I actually have Little Rocket Man. It can be a bit annoying driving with the damn thing, but I didn't think it was that bad overall. The One Free Bullet would be (if you ask me) harder and more annoying. I'll go for that only if I activate cheat codes first.

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