"Who's this?" I asked. I was late--my train was delayed on the way in--and although I'd texted ahead to warn her, the Redhead seemed to be sitting at our table with a man in uniform mooning over her.
"This is my friend Constable Wilkinson," she purred, "he decided that, rather than punish little old me for robbing this bar"--she casually pointed at a dead bartender and an empty cash-register with a smoking pistol she held in one gloved hand--"that he'd rather have a drink with me instead. Isn't that right, Constable Wilkinson?"
The police officer stared at her in silence.
I carried on. "Um, I'm not really okay with this. He's got hearts spiralling off his head and everything."
"Tsk, you men are so jealous."
"It's not jealousy! It's... just common courtesy, that's all. I'm going to have to turn you in."
The Redhead shot him clean through the head.
"Are you still going to turn me in?"
"Yes, obviously! I mean, no! I mean, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen! Do you want me to steal anything for you?"
Date finished after robbing two off-licenses and an armoured car. Exciting! Am now in prison.
Next up... Nilin, from Remember Me
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