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8 awkward first dates with video game characters

Date four: Cammy (Street Fighter series)
 

"I've got to ask," I said, as we walked towards the ice-staking rink, "what are those marks on your legs?"

"They're camouflage."

"Right, but, are they? I mean, I can still see your legs."


"It breaks up the outline. When I'm in combat, you know."


"But you wear that red hat. Surely the red hat shows up, even with your legs all... disguised like that."


"Look, you're being pretty confrontational about this. I'm starting to have second thoughts about you."

I apologised; I was pushing the issue too hard. We collected our skates and made our way to the ice; it was hard-going for me, but Cammy's grace and balance honed over her many years as a Street Fighter served her well. Her teeth chattered as she helped me up for the fourth time.

"Are you cold?" I asked.

"A little."

"We could... find you some trousers, maybe?"

"I don't wear trousers."

"But they'd be warmer. And offer better camouflage."

"This again?"

"I'm just saying that they're better in every way! You'll note that every military the world over wears trousers, and for some reason you're doing all your fighting in a leotard!"


"What's this really about? Eh?" She thrust a red-gloved hand against my chest.

"Nothing!"

"You know what? This date is over. Why don't you call Chun Li next time, eh?"

"She was BUSY," I spat, as she skated away.

Next up... Citra, from Far Cry 3

Topics

romance

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13 comments

  • rxb - October 22, 2013 7:05 a.m.

    Very funny. I'd take my chances with Bayonetta.
  • GoldenEagle1476 - October 21, 2013 3:21 p.m.

    Thank god you didn't go all the way with Citra.
  • mentalityljs - October 21, 2013 2:08 p.m.

    Good stuff! What about doing an article match-making the 'gamers we hate playing with' profiles with game characters. That could be fun.
  • Sjoeki - October 21, 2013 9:38 a.m.

    This is one of those reasons why this is one of the first sites I check when I get home, great job! Elizabeths date was pure magic! Would like to see a date with tali, with her taking apart the furniture or something so she could ship it back to the flotilla, where you have to help her with her emergency induction port as she is starting to get drunk, or that awkward moment where you give yourself a nosebleed as you hit into her helmet trying to go for a kiss.
  • bedelicious - October 21, 2013 8:59 a.m.

    No male characters? :(
  • GrantHowitt - October 21, 2013 4:06 p.m.

    Next time, I think, yeah. Wanna get me some of that Solid Snake action.
  • bedelicious - October 22, 2013 6:05 a.m.

    Nice :D
  • Y2Ken - October 21, 2013 8:51 a.m.

    Oh, and great article by the way. Funny stuff!
  • Y2Ken - October 21, 2013 8:50 a.m.

    ... Nope, I'd still want to go out with Bayonetta. Only other issue being that she's something like eight feet tall.
  • GR_RyanTaljonick - October 21, 2013 8 a.m.

    Lovely!
  • Mdgeist316 - October 21, 2013 6:35 a.m.

    I damn near spit out my coffee while reading this. Good job.
  • C.King - October 21, 2013 6:25 a.m.

    the tomb raider just skins for the sake of skinning? funky
  • Talvari - October 21, 2013 5:09 a.m.

    Awesome article xD

Showing 1-13 of 13 comments

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