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61 terrible videogame shirts you must never wear

Only wear these if you would like to never have sex

Being a gamer and getting laid more than once during a President’s time in office is enough trouble, but try doing so while wearing a sexually suggestive shirt that involves game characters. Sexual partners will be running from you when they see you equate intimacy with a goofy gaming reference.

Also, want to prove that you have never “scored” in your life? Wear a shirt featuring Luigi or Pac-Man that says you have.


Scarface jokes are the worst thing known to mankind

Nearly 30 years ago, Oliver Stone, Brian De Palma, Al Pacino and some other people made a loud, violent and entertaining thing called Scarface. Ever since then, people have been quoting it in the understanding that it’s silly and an easy joke that everyone can recognize. It stopped being funny in 1987, and ever since it just shows you’re a lazy, uncreative douche that identifies with a sexist, murderous drug addict with a terribly fake accent. Fine, whatever, ha ha, we get it. We got it 15 years ago, we got it five years ago, and we got it last week when someone said “cock-a-roach.” And we certainly get it on these shirts:

So now that we all understand that we get it, can we just move on from Scarface, please? There have been other funny, campy, over-the-top films from the last decade that are more worthy of adoration and basing shirts on. What about The Room or Nicolas Cage’s The Wicker Man? Anything but Scarface, for the love of Christ!


The most overused shirt there is

In spite of all the uncreative, overexposed shirts that lazily cover internet retailers, one shirt in particular is lousy in its frequent appearances. We have actually never seen this shirt worn, but we were sick of it the second time we saw it, let alone the ninth time.

And these were just the shirts we found after a few days of searching. There must be more out there. Who created this shirt that won’t die? We aren’t sure, but it must end. Please, do not buy this shirt, and if you own it, burn it immediately. Much like a virus or a zombie plague, it must be wiped out with prejudice, or it will envelop the globe. You have been warned.

May 7, 2010

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102 comments

  • SwampRock - June 5, 2010 9:41 p.m.

    Oh man theres this shirt with a big daddy coming out of the ocean doing a shocker, and below it says bioshocker. does it make me a bad person for wanting it?
  • k-bloodpain - June 1, 2010 3:59 a.m.

    Any shirt with sonic the hedgehog on it is awlsome!!! NOT STUPIT!!:P
  • SeekerofSith - May 17, 2010 8:27 p.m.

    Blow me.....I don't get it.
  • AuthorityFigure - May 16, 2010 11:38 a.m.

    Enthusiasm transforms into embarassment easily if you're not careful.
  • jackthemenace - May 16, 2010 9:58 a.m.

    damn, i actually have one of those "nintendo rehab" shirts ¬___¬
  • likedamaster - May 15, 2010 2:05 p.m.

    It's the catch-phrases that make these t-shirts so bad. I would wear them otherwise.
  • KaiokenKid - May 13, 2010 4:31 a.m.

    The game shirts I own really only have the name of the game and a picture of it. I do have a Gear of War T-Shirt that has the Seriously achievment picture with the owrds Acheivment Unlocked over the title Gears of War. i also have a Halo 3 shirt that has the 3 logo with the phrase "finish the fight" on the back. So I really think those are OK, but im not sure. havent got any complaints yet. im eyeing a Castlevania SOTN T-Shirt I saw at hot Topic, which is where I get most of my shirts for some reason.
  • Bobbety - May 12, 2010 5:37 a.m.

    I just about bought that "I'd hit that" shirt a few days ago. Now that I think about it, it really is a incredibly stupid shirt. PS-Thanks for making sure I never buy a video game shirt Henry.
  • crisdace - May 12, 2010 2:49 a.m.

    Ummmmmmm, I'm ..... speechless?
  • jesseo - May 12, 2010 1:03 a.m.

    I can't believe that not only the author of this article referenced Nick Cage's The Wicker Man as something someone should watch and/or quote, but that one of the posts actually said it was, "pretty good." That movie was horrible and to call it horrible insults all other movies in that catagory. I don't know how the original was but the new one should never have existed, ever.
  • teke367 - May 11, 2010 4:55 p.m.

    I have a friend who has a shirt that says "up, up, down, down.." etc, I liked that one, but I wouldn't go out of my way to get one. If I happened to be in a store and saw it, then perhaps. Even then, its not something I could wear to work, so it'd be worn mostly at home anyway.
  • Apollomon - May 11, 2010 10:36 a.m.

    1. I dont actually understand cowbell hero? am i missing something 2. Mii love you long time? Seriously...that has to be the worst shirt EVER 3. actually i have never seen people wearing the blow me t-shirt...wonder why lol 4. None of my t-shirts are in the list, i have too much style...one of my fav t-shirts is my "home-schooled" one with NES cartridges on, love it!...admitedly i do own a Nintendogs t-shirt from the nintendo site using my points (my mates dont appreciate when i wear that)...my girlfriends a geek anyway and loves when im geeky- so score! :D
  • deanwalton - May 11, 2010 10:25 a.m.

    These t-shirts sure do suck! Most of them are really lazy too! The only good video game t-shirts out there are on Gamer Print: http://www.gamerprint.co.uk I f*#@ing love the Welcome to Rapture one!
  • Hellwilder - May 10, 2010 9:47 p.m.

    Let's accept it: Video Game shirts with any kind of joke are lame. If somebody thinks he is cool when he's wearing one of those; he fails at life
  • avantguardian - May 10, 2010 9:31 a.m.

    i don't know...the chillin like a villain one is so right/wrong it almost tears a hole through time and space...
  • theschwartzb - May 10, 2010 8:06 a.m.

    You know what T-Shirt you should also never wear but isn't video game related? The Vote for Pedro T-Shirt. That movie sucked donkey sack and anything based off of it sucks just as hard.
  • outuendo - May 10, 2010 4:29 a.m.

    I am ashamed to admit i do have one of the 61 shirts shown here. I have the Mega Man Scarface one. I still wear it because it's incredibly comfortable and it's the only Mega Man shirt I can find. Don't smite me?
  • Catalyst - May 10, 2010 4:03 a.m.

    This...this is why you don't buy "gaming" shirts at freakin' Hot Topic
  • sazzrah - May 10, 2010 2:40 a.m.

    I'm the proud owner of this t-shirt: http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1294/1152480488_7ba5afb6d6.jpg I know its uber nerdy and to many will be lame, and to many more will be unintelligible - but to me it's awesomesauce!

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