Never wear anything that appropriates a joke from Saturday Night Live
We were young once too, and we’ll admit that referencing a well known moment from SNL, or Monty Python, or Spinal Tap was not only good for a laugh, but made you and your friends feel superior to everyone else who didn’t get it. But let’s be clear: those are already so overused from repetition in all other forms of media, that seeing them used for some videogame joke shirt only makes them more groan-worthy.
Those are worse than regular joke shirts, because they aren’t even original. They may get a passing chuckle, but your friends are just being polite. They think you’re a giant loser for referencing something that, at best, is a decade old (like in the case of the Cowbell shirt). Why not just get one that says, “Schwing,” juxtaposed against an image of Zero Suit Samus, or “Did I do that?” in front of a Gears of War headshot.
Above: You’re welcome for the free idea, hacky t-shirt makers
Try not to wear shirts that indicate you’re fat and have no life
We’ll admit these are kind of ironic, and might even be funny the first time you see them on some obese guy that rarely leaves his house. But you must be very secure in who you are to wear a shirt that points out your flaws so blatantly. Otherwise, it just looks to the world like you fulfill every stereotype people see gamers as having.
Also, we have to call bullshit on that last one. Video Game Rehab? First of all, somebody wearing it is obviously still playing games, so it looks like you’re a liar or that you’re weak and have fallen off the wagon. And second, if you run a legit Galaga rehab, why advertise using a Galaga sprite? That’s like getting Budweiser to create Alcoholics Anonymous ads.
For the love of God, don’t hate the player
Speaking of ancient sayings, “don’t hate the player, hate the game,” was old when it was said all the time on MTV in the mid-‘90s. By now, everybody should know this maxim, as well as its meaning. Now, wouldn’t it be funny if the term “player,” which is usually someone who gets a lot of dates, were to instead be used for a videogames-playing person?
Sorry to send you into a laughing fit with all these clever shirts, but we just had to share. By the way, that’s just all the shirts we found that involved players and hating them. There were more shirts that used the term player in a “humorous” fashion, but we decided to spare your funny bone by not including them.
Try not to wear any shirts that use ancient hip-hop slang
If you’re a sheltered, suburban kid, maybe you should avoid wearing shirts with sayings that would only fit in a '90s John Singleton film.