Drag-queen. Scientologist. Dog-voicer.
Might work as a New Agey touchy-feely Santa - LearJet instead of sled, tinfoil hat, red robes of recyclable hemp....
Would eat all the mince pies. And then start on the reindeer.
Frightening, cadaverous, vampirical monster-man. Frequently mistaken by ex-cons as an old cellmate. (True. He told us this).
Would be only too happy to teach children the true meaning of Christmas (loneliness, pain, unhealthy self-reflection) - rasping it into their ears in a half-burping voice.
Santa don't dance.
Ubiquitous, wrongly deep-voiced Everyschlub.
Pretend deep voice good for 'Ho-ho-ho!-ing'. Looks a bit like a twentysomething Saint Nick before he really got to work on the facial hair. There's the pitch! Young Father Christmas...
Would make all the kids laugh so much they'd die.
Saturday Night Live//Wayne's World star. Improv master and prolific prankster.
Obese. Red-faced. Just a little bit bawdy and raddled. Would come over like a jovial but slightly edgy old uncle. Sort of 'How's Yer Father Christmas'...
Professional geezer. Bravo TV luminary. Occasionally plays himself in films.
Cheeky and chirpy. Would be good with profane banter ("What do you want for Christmas then, you little cant?")
According to industry rumour, empties his sack too readily.
Wouldn't need make-up.