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56 eye-melting screens of the most hilariously over-the-top bloom lighting in video game history

Above: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! Don't do drugs, kids. I repeat, DO NOT DO DRUGS. Not even accidentally

Above: I feel like I'm being slowly digested by carnivorous marshmallow. Also, note the amount of blood on these first two screens on this page. That's because I can't find any of the guys who are shooting at me

Above: Aw crap...

Above: WHY? WHY WOULD ANYONE PUT SUCH A THING IN A PLACE INHABITED BY HUMANS?

Above: Mummy, am I going to Heaven?

Above: One screenshot, 3/4 of which is made up of glare. Syndicate artists, you have achieved today

Above: Hmmm, that glow coming from the other side of the door has to diminish as I get closer, right? That's how it works...

Above: Run to the light, Carol Anne! Run as fast as you can! Mommy is in the light! 

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and lie down in a darkened room for a good long time. With my eyes closed. And a blindfold on. Weeping. 

55 comments

  • NullG7 - March 17, 2012 10:45 p.m.

    I personally had nowhere near ad much of a problem with light bleed while I played it. Not one bit. Still hilarious though, let this be a warning! IF a game tells you to turn down your brightness DO IT.
  • reaperman22 - March 13, 2012 5:38 a.m.

    well when we reach this future the Estacado family is screwed
  • purple_omlet - March 9, 2012 10:13 p.m.

    They need to take that brightness and put some of it in Mass Effect 3.
  • hamish-rae - March 9, 2012 6:08 p.m.

    f'ing hilarious
  • Windus - March 9, 2012 5:09 p.m.

    Nice Velvet Underground reference up there.
  • AuthorityFigure - March 9, 2012 4:40 p.m.

    When an effect becomes so heavily relied upon for the entire game, it makes me wonder how it got through the play-testing.
  • usmovers_02 - March 9, 2012 12:33 p.m.

    Thank god they're switching to the Unreal Engine. I love Starbreeze but ever since the original Chronicles of Riddick something has just been OFF about the graphics of each of their games, despite having overall good graphics. This one takes the cake.
  • CitizenWolfie - March 9, 2012 7:32 a.m.

    I do like Bloom lighting if used sparingly. The "Faultlines" trailer for BF3 looked incredible partly to do with the insane lighting effects. However I didn't expect the whole game to have it! It's not so bad in multiplayer but it makes the SP campaign even more unplayable.
  • obliviondoll - March 9, 2012 5:19 a.m.

    "it has garnered bad press across the board by baring only minimal resemblance to the original." Firstly, that should be "bearing" Secondly, bad press across the board would imply mostly negative or mixed reviews, not mostly positive reviews with some mixed and a couple of negative reviews. Lets as Metacritic which of those patterns the game ACTUALLY fits, shall we? And third point - only minimal resemblance? I take it you never PLAYED the originals (not just "original" - there's an "s" on the end because it's PLURAL. There were TWO previous games) "Above: I'm not even going to try to explain how a sight this could occur in real life. Not without bringing psychotropic self-medication into the equation" Nope... REALLY didn't play the originals...
  • PimplesInYourAsstista - March 9, 2012 6:29 a.m.

    Still a boring, shitty game.
  • Cwf2008 - May 30, 2013 6:38 p.m.

    ""Above: I'm not even going to try to explain how a sight this could occur in real life. Not without bringing psychotropic self-medication into the equation" Nope... REALLY didn't play the originals..." And that sentence or image has what to do with the originals?
  • gazdog9 - March 9, 2012 12:21 a.m.

    Bloomin' awful ! Aha , Aha ha , Aha ha ha..... word play
  • aratiatia - March 8, 2012 10:12 p.m.

    This is absolutely hilarious! Hilarious!
  • Craza - March 8, 2012 8:25 p.m.

    Pretty damn good article, I laughed hard! I have never seen so much glare and bloom in my life! My eyes were hurting just looking a still shot. I can't even imagine playing this game with all of that.
  • birdman1041 - March 8, 2012 7:36 p.m.

    Funny! This guy had the same reaction: http://www.amazon.com/review/R3HSX4ZMOPB7OU/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#R3HSX4ZMOPB7OU
  • ThatGamerDude - March 8, 2012 7:30 p.m.

    Dat light. So has anyone else been sent to the eye doctor because of this?
  • roryking1981 - March 8, 2012 7 p.m.

    Reminds me of BF3 preupdate.
  • brickman409 - March 9, 2012 5:23 p.m.

    i was thinking the same thing
  • Rudorlf - March 8, 2012 5:14 p.m.

    There's a way to cut off the effect on PC, but yeah, who would want to be immerse in a world full of "flashbang" fluorescent lights. (I'm fine with bloom lightnings, but this is just ridiculous.)
  • SideOfBeef - March 8, 2012 3:28 p.m.

    'Dat last page.

Showing 1-20 of 55 comments

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