Above: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! Don't do drugs, kids. I repeat, DO NOT DO DRUGS. Not even accidentally
Above: I feel like I'm being slowly digested by carnivorous marshmallow. Also, note the amount of blood on these first two screens on this page. That's because I can't find any of the guys who are shooting at me
Above: Aw crap...
Above: WHY? WHY WOULD ANYONE PUT SUCH A THING IN A PLACE INHABITED BY HUMANS?
Above: Mummy, am I going to Heaven?
Above: One screenshot, 3/4 of which is made up of glare. Syndicate artists, you have achieved today
Above: Hmmm, that glow coming from the other side of the door has to diminish as I get closer, right? That's how it works...
Above: Run to the light, Carol Anne! Run as fast as you can! Mommy is in the light!
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and lie down in a darkened room for a good long time. With my eyes closed. And a blindfold on. Weeping.
"I kept picturing us stranded on the side of the road with a $100k collectible game": Holy grail Castlevania buyer outlines his daring reverse heist to get the game home
My favorite Spelunky character is a masterclass in roguelike risk versus reward: "Stealing in games is fun in the same way running across the top of the screen is in Super Mario"
