50 Worst Movie Toys

Tired tie-ins and mediocre merchandising

Django Unchained Toys

The Toy: Want to recreate 19th Century slavery with a series of action figures based on Quentin Tarantino's blood-soaked Western? Tough: the manufacturer discontinued the line after bowing to pressure that the range was insensitive, and then eBay banned the subsequent black market trade.

Worst Detail: In fairness, Leonard DiCaprio is probably quite relieved that nobody will be able to buy a doll that has mysteriously grafted Ben Affleck's features onto his own.

Prince of Persia Lego Ostrich Race

The Toy: Lego has made many iconic, enviable toys based on hit movies, but sometimes that desire for the next great brand synergy flounders on the rocks of really poor judgement.

Worst Detail: The packaging implies that the idea is for Lego Jake Gyllenhaal to ride the ostrich; in the actual film's corresponding set-piece he is actually required to run away from the bird.

Mr Furious

The Toy: Action figure of Ben Stiller's character in superhero satire Mystery Men . No wonder he has anger management issues if he looks like this.

Worst Detail: Look at that facial expression! It's not exactly Blue Steel, is it?

Hulkey Pokey

The Toy: Just as Marvel Studios was getting into the swing of its multi-film epic with the release of The Incredible Hulk in 2008, Hasbro released this plush toy that sings and dances. Just like in the movie.

Worst Detail: The titular song. Sample lyric - "you put your right fist in, your right first out, in out, in out, you smash it all about!"

Jack Sparrow's Spinning Dagger

The Toy: Worn in the palm of the hand, this nifty miniature weapon proved so controversial that the World Against Toys Causing Harm pressure group singled it out as one of the year's most dangerous toys.

Worst Detail: Any possibility of actually using the dagger for offensive action are undone by those telltale "electronic battle sounds."

The Goonies Sloth Collectors Latex Mask

The Toy: For when kids (of whatever age) get bored of dressing up as superheroes, here's the ideal opportunity to freak people out dressed as (in the words of manufacturer Signature Collections) "the wackiest monster of the 80s" - thus totally missing the point of the film.

Worst Detail: With only one eye hole, the mask is surely a health & safety disaster waiting to happen.

Jareth The Goblin King

The Toy: Yes, yes, we all know that Labyrinth is a metaphor for Jennifer Connelly's sexual awakening. Even so, did they have to make it so obvious by showing what David Bowie is packing down below?

Worst Detail: This one is actually a well-crafted, accurate likeness... At least, we think so.

Being John Malkovich Russian Dolls

The Toy: How best to show what a head-fuck Spike Jonze's and Charlie Kaufman's 'Hollywood mind squatters' comedy was? How about by literally representing the cast members living in each other's heads?

Worst Detail: There aren't even enough dolls to make a decent game of skittles.

Alien Warrior

The Toy: Kenner was already king of the action figure world from the success of Star Wars when it misguidedly decided to release an 18 inch model based on the adults-only Alien . Parents groups quickly ensured the toy got banned.

Worst Detail: A triumph of style over substance, the ambitious articulation of the figure meant it had an unfortunate habit of breaking apart… so it probably would have been recalled anyway.

Tomb Raider Terracotta Soldier

The Toy: Paramount Pictures helped to promote Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life with a 15-inch high stone statue. Not really a toy? Still, somebody actually paid $200 for this before Christmas.

Worst Detail: The film's logo has been carved into the design, just in case anybody wanted to try and pass it off as a genuine antique.