The 50 most gloriously stupid character names in gaming

Marshall Law

Seen having a stupid name in: several Tekken games

Name is stupid because it sounds like: martial law. Even though the character has nothing to do with the military or the legal system. Super funny, right? Get it?

Henry Cooldown

Seen having a stupid name in: No More Heroes

Name is stupid because it sounds like: a cheap way to have "down" in his last name. The main character's name is Travis TouchDOWN so, naturally, his rival should have the word 'down' in there somewhere.

Lancelot Lakeknight

Seen having a stupid name in: Toshinden 4

Name is stupid because it sounds like: a bunch of knightly words strung together. If your character is already a knight - and you feel the need to put the word knight in his name - then take a step back and really think over the decisions you've made in your life.

Wakka

Seen having a stupid name: Final Fantasy X

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the noise a teeny, tiny baby would make while playing with a toy. Actually, Wakka was the goofball of the group, and he did fight using a toy, so I guess this name fits.

Starkiller

Seen having a stupid name in: Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

Name is stupid because as a matter of fact: Starkiller didn't kill any stars.

Afro Thunder

Seen having a stupid name in: Ready 2 Rumble Boxing

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the name of a porn star. Seriously, you're going to find a lot of these in this list.

Dingo Egret

Seen having a stupid name in: Zone of the Enders: The 2nd Runner

Name is stupid because it sounds like: an Australian game show host. And yes, I'm saying the name's Australian because it has the word 'dingo' in it. I'm sorry.

Darkdeath Evilman

Seen having a stupid name in: Zettai Hero Project: Unlosing Ranger VS. Darkdeath Evilman

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the first draft of a new Power Rangers villain. To be fair, ZHP is a parody game, so Mr. Evilman is technically a parody of generic villain names. But even so, it's still too ridiculous not to feature here.

Hot Coldman

Seen having a stupid name in: Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker

Name is stupid because it sounds like: his parents had a really, really cruel sense of humor. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during the 'Hot Coldman vs. Cold Hotman' naming meeting at Kojima Productions. Thankfully, good taste prevailed.

Pink Gold Peach

Seen having a stupid name in: Mario Kart 8

Name is stupid because it sounds like: Nintendo really has run out of new ideas for Mario Kart Racers.

David Houghton
Long-time GR+ writer Dave has been gaming with immense dedication ever since he failed dismally at some '80s arcade racer on a childhood day at the seaside (due to being too small to reach the controls without help). These days he's an enigmatic blend of beard-stroking narrative discussion and hard-hitting Psycho Crushers.