22 Most Depressing Movie Couples

Relationships with a case of the blue valentines

21 Grams (2004)

The Couple: Paul Rivers (Sean Penn) and Christina Peck (Naomi Watts).

The Issues: Paul's heart is in fact the donated organ of Christina's dead husband, killed in a car crash. If that isn't going to cause some psychological fireworks, we don't know what will.

How To Fix The Relationship: There's enough weirdness here without Christina involving Paul in a revenge attack on the man responsible for the car crash (Benecio Del Toro). One thing at a time, OK?

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

The Couple: Bill and Alice Harford (Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman).

The Issues: She's thrown a paddy because he was flirting with some girls at a party, and admits to fantasing about another man. Now, he's thrown a paddy, and heads off in search for a shag.

How To Fix The Relationship: These two need to lighten up. Maybe they could try going to that kinky masked orgy Bill wanders in on.

Husbands And Wives (1992)

The Couple: Gabe and Judy Roth (Woody Allen and Mia Farrow).

The Issues: When their best friends Jack and Sally (Sydney Pollack and Judy Davis) separate, they start to question their own relationship... and Gabe starts flirting with one of his students.

How To Fix The Relationship: Judging by Jack and Sally's example, the best thing to do would be for Gabe and Judy to take a break, fool around, and then reconcile.

Sex and the City 2 (2010)

The Couple: Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) and hubbie Mr Big (Chris Noth).

The Issues: She still thinks she's a single lady and wants to party with her posse. He's grown up, and wants to stay at home watching old rom-coms on telly.

How To Fix The Relationship: Y'know, there are places you can go out and watch movies. They're called cinemas.

The English Patient (1996)

The Couple: Count Laszlo Almasy (Ralph Fiennes) and Katherine Clifton (Kristin Scott Thomas).

The Issues: Essentially, trying to have an affair in the Saharan sun is driving everyone a little crazy... especially Katherine's husband Geoffrey (Colin Firth).

How To Fix The Relationship: The desert's no place to be worrying about a relationship. If they're that desperate for sun and sand, head for the beach.

Twilight (2008)

The Couple: Bella Swan (Kirsten Stewart) and Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson).

The Issues: Ed's a vampire, who is loathe to take things to the next level - ie the horizontal one - because it'll mean turning her.

How To Fix The Relationship: C'mon, who doesn't want to be a vampire? Just shag already.

Control (2007)

The Couple: Joy Division singer Ian Curtis (Sam Riley) and wife Deborah (Samantha Morton).

The Issues: Ian's career as an indie icon drives a wedge between them, especially when he starts an affair with journalist Annik Honore (Alexandra Maria Lara). The fact he's suicidally depressed doesn't help.

How To Fix The Relationship: Tragically, all this one needed was a few years. By the late 1980s, they'd all have been doing Es at the Hacienda and everything would have been wicked.

Kramer vs Kramer (1979)

The Couple: Ted and Joanna Kramer (Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep).

The Issues: Technically, these two are no longer a couple, but it's depressing enough watching them fight for custody of their son Billy (Justin Henry).

How To Fix The Relationship: Has neither of them heard of shared custody?

Breaking the Waves (1996)

The Couple: Oil rig worker Jan Nyman (Stellan Skarsgard) and mentally challenged bride Bess McNeill (Emily Watson).

The Issues: He's stuck in a wheelchair after an accident, so in lieu of the usual sex life he insists she goes and has sex with random strangers. Bad idea.

How To Fix The Relationship: Couldn't she just put on a show for him?

Love Story (1970)

The Couple: Oliver Barrett IV (Ryan O'Neal) and Jennifer Cavilleri-Barrett (Ali MacGraw).

The Issues: Rich kid Oliver gives up everything for the woman he loves, struggles through law school, and then she contracts leukemia. Marvellous.

How To Fix The Relationship: Not much that can be done about this one, unfortunately.