The hero Twitter deserves, but not the one it needs. So you'll follow him. Because he can take it.
Another fake account, having fun purporting to be the grizzled Dark Knight in the Frank Miller mould. Think Bruce Wayne's a little po-faced? Get following the God Damn Batman this instant!
Pretty much every tweet's a classic, but here are a few choice zingers…
"Let's just say I give Chuck Norris something to aspire to."
"The worst? When you wake up and remember your parents are dead. The best? You're Batman."
"If dragging a little fat man in a tuxedo and top hat down the freeway behind my car is wrong. Then I don't want to be right."
"Penguin, don't feel bad because you're short, smelly, and overweight. I have plenty of flaws, too. People often say I'm over-handsome."
"Hey Charlie Sheen, the last idiot who told me he had tiger blood and Adonis DNA actually DID. And now he's paralyzed. Winning."
"Dear Joker thug, it's probably not the best idea to drive the purple company van to my favorite Starbucks on your coffee run."
"Sorry Alfred, your benefits package doesn't recognize President's Day as a day off. I'm kidding! You don't have a benefits package."
"No Alfred, it's YOUR fault the birthday clown you hired is in the ER. It's my job to assume Joker thugs infiltrated the mansion."
"The guy who created Ally McBeal is doing a new Wonder Woman show? You had me at "there's no way in hell I'm ever watching that.""
"Is it weird that some nights I just stare at a picture of M. Night Shyamalan until I'm angry enough to go on patrols?"
"Another Robin died today. Note to future Robins: THINK before you decide to watch American Idol on your phone while driving the Robin-cycle."
"Rule #1 - The Batman is always right. Rule #2 - If The Batman is wrong see Rule #3. Rule #3 is my fist."
"You either die a hero or you live long enough to see your sidekick come home with a Justin Bieber haircut."
"Why yes Alfred, I do have a "clever bat-gadget" for shoveling the driveway. It's called a BUTLER."
The God Damn Batman doesn't retweet, but he is known to comment on movie news:
"Hey Tom Hardy, congrats on the Bane role. I'd love to give you some acting pointers. With my fists."
"And Anne Hathaway as Catwoman? Best news I've heard all day. I'm a HUGE Princess Diaries fan."
"New Supes is cast! Now I can go from not caring about the new Superman movie to not caring about Henry Cavill in the new Superman movie."