11) Learn drums on a console the size of a harmonica
Put the brilliant Rhythm Tengoku to good use. There’s a complete set of drumming lessons available that’ll keep you hammering long after GameBoy’s bedtime.
Do it now: YesAsia.com again.
12) Hear the worst song ever created
Composer Kazumi Totaka is famous for shoving a 19-note ditty into all his games. It was first discovered in Mario Paint, with the method of “unlocking” songs getting more complex with every game - but it usually involves waiting around on a random screen.
Do it now: Animal Crossing: ask for “KK Song” at nighttime. It’s suspected to be in Wii Sports too, but no one’s discovered it… yet.
13) Make your room 1 percent bed, 99 percent wires
A four-player top-down Zelda adventure - yes please. Playing Four Swords on the GameCube means dealing with the incredibly expensive - and convoluted - method of cobbling all the GC-GBA wires together. Gulp.
Do it now: Again, the cable won’t work with the Wii, GameBoy Micro, DS Lite or DS Roly-Poly.
14) Break your DS’ circuitry with cry-juice
The only problem with Ouendan! is you sometimes feel a slight discord between the ongoing storylines and the on-screen action - until you reach the level where you have to guide a recently deceased man from heaven to his girlfriend by sheer force of tapping numbers and spinning wheels. The beautiful plinky noises make you feel like a hero. And you are.
Do it now: Another import job. Japanese DS titles usually hover around the $45 mark. Absolutely no knowledge of Japanese is required whatsoever.
15) Become a cannibal
Cubivore: Survival of the Fittest is an outrageously quirky game based around the theory of Darwinism. Attack and kill other cubes, munch ’em up real nice and watch as you mutate. It IS good.
Do it now: Try to track down a copy somewhere - you’ll be glad you did.