Gotta bleh 'em all
Pokmon X and Y is right around the corner, so it's time for the fanboys and Generation I fanatics to come out of the woodworks--or high grass, as it were. Soon, they'll begin crying foul at the idea of yet another slew of fighting monsters becoming an officially recognized addition to the already huge list of Pokmon to collect, train, and battle. Longtime fans, eyes blind with nostalgia, will tell you that GameFreak's artists have gradually been getting lazier and lazier, resulting in lackluster, illogical, and sometimes downright generic Pokmon designs.
Truth is, there have always been outright weird Pokemon. Seriously, does anyone remember Grimer, Muk, and Ditto, the three Play-Doh-looking blobs that made it into the first Pokmon generation? Although there will undoubtedly be some questionable pocket monsters in X and Y, here are the least inspired ones we've seen across the entire series.
Right off the bat, weve got a brand new Pokmon from Generation VI. And look, its yet another electric rodent. Pokmon X and Y may not be released yet, but as of the few Pokmon revealed from the upcoming game, Dedenne is already one of the worst, simply because Pokfans have had enough of this trope. It may be cute, but with Pichu, Pikachu, Raichu, Plusle, Minun, and Pachirisu already established, the last thing we need is yet another sparky mouse--especially one that looks like a pudgy and desaturated version of the series most famous Pokmon. Give us something new.
We're not sure what GameFreak was going for when it created the travesty that is Granbull. Sure, it looks like a dog--but considering it's a fairy species, we can't cast our vote one way or the other. This Pokmon's oddly shaped ears are at such an angle that it looks like the thing could take flight if it ran fast enough. And its coloring isn't any less confusing. Look at its giant teeth! They're purple, like the rest of its coat, which makes us think... maybe they're not technically teeth at all, but teeth-like horns growing from the spot where its lip should be. We don't get it either. All we know is Granbull is ugly, even uglier than its basic form Snubbull, and that's saying something.
Forretress is a pretty sweet-looking Pokmon. It's unique and intimidating, which is why its basic form, Pineco, is so disappointing. We're not even going to touch the logistics of the ability for what is essentially a sentient pinecone to evolve into the gnarly beast that is Forretress. That minor detail aside, just look at this thing. It may look exactly like a pinecone, but it cant even be dignified with that identity. Instead its dubbed it the bagworm Pokmon. Adding to the insult are those permanently crossed eyes that give it a goofy expression not even its mother could take seriously. Oh well. At least you only have to deal with him until level 31 before it evolves into something much cooler.
Seel wins the Most Like a Real World Animal Award, both in name and appearance. Seel? Really? Almost anything would have been a better name for this thing. It looks like someone was trying to draw a vegetable or something and threw a face on the end of it, resulting in this uninspired creature in an awkward position (seriously, it can't be comfortable balancing in that manner). Everything about this Pokmon is like its real world counterpart. We'd say the only feature that separates it from an actual seal is the small horn atop its head, but no one knows what the point of that addition is. He's so plain and boring that GameFreak tried making another seal-based Pokmon in a later generation, apparently forgetting that they'd even thought of Seel. At least Spheal and Sealeo are more creative than this average dude.
Every generation of Pokmon has its fair share of cute designs. We love the cute Pokmon, and it's even better when they're actually worth their salt in battle. But there is no hope for Luvdisc. This fish is literally a heart, with a single line for a mouth and a circle for an eye. Realizing thats probably not enough detail for a Pokmon, the artists added another light pink circle just below the eye. You know, because beauty marks and stuff. The least they could've done was add some fins or gills to at least give players the illusion that this thing is more than a living Valentine, but no. We don't know how this Pokmon manages to swim or breathe underwater, but there you have it.
Bunnelby is the second Generation VI Pokmon to make our list. It looks like a derp (the term so affectionately assigned to the low-level fodder trainers run into at the beginning of each game, such as Ratatat, Bidoof, and Patrat), so its off to a bad start. What makes Bunnelby particularly bad--though its design is objectively better than previous generations' derps--is the fact that it doesn't really look like a Pokmon. Bunnelby more closely resembles a caricature of a Looney Tunes-esque animal, which is saying something considering those are already cartoons. With its over-inflated ears, stubby arms, wide eyes, and buck teeth, this Pokmon isn't looking threatening or competition-worthy anytime soon. Oh well. At least he'll make a good slot-filler for your party for the first hour of Pokmon X and Y.
Stantler doesn't so much look like a Pokmon as it does a cartoon drawing of a buck. Which, obviously, would be fine, except it's supposed to be a Pokmon. And then there's the problem of that thing on its butt. What is that? Does anyone know? It can't be a tail, because it looks like a tumor or an enlarged gland of some sort. You might wanna get that checked out, Stantler. Or don't, because we don't know if you'd want to go to a Pokdoctor or a vet. And it also has jowls. Jowls! Who thought it would be a good idea to add saggy flaps of cheek flesh to a deer with a butt lump? Stantler's only redeeming quality is its somewhat unusual antlers that resemble evil eyes or maybe fish or something. We have no idea.
Everyone knows what an exoskeleton is, right? It's when a creature's skeleton is on the outside of its body, kind of like a protective armor. Crustaceans, for instance, have exoskeletons. Gurdurr, however, looks like it has exomuscles. And it's nasty. This guy is a hundred percent muscle, and they're practically bulging out of its flesh. Those pink things that are as thick as baseball bats? Veins. Disgusting, right? Worst of all is its head, which looks like an exposed brain tumor. What's with all the tumors? And Gurdurr's nose is no better than Bozo the Clown's. How does Gurdurr even lift weights with a waist that thin? Wouldn't his spine snap under the pressure? Gross.
We feel bad for Vullaby. Its not technically a baby Pokmon, though you wouldnt be able to tell from looking. Even the name Vullaby--only one letter off from lullaby--screams, Dont take me seriously! And that eggshell wrapped around its lower half? Yeah, thats a diaper. We know this because Vullaby is the diapered Pokmon. Poor guy. Not helping matters is the heart shape slapped on the front of its makeshift underpants. Cant get enough of those. And look at its wings. The poor thing can't even put them down because its silly diaper is in the way. How does it even fly? We dont know, but we do know one thing: Vullaby must have a dreadful time growing up when theyre permanently branded as babies.