Google+

14 skateboarding games forgotten by time


Fifty years of skateboarding and twenty years of sub-standard game-based facsimiles culminated in this: Sega Skateboarding’s Top Skater - an arcade game you actually controlled while mounted atop a deck. Predictably, the skate community embraced its authenticity for finally allowing Joe McEveryman to pull off an ollie by gripping the padded handle bars and leaning back slightly. You know, just like in real life!


Above: Helping fatties thrash since 1997

If you’ve ever seen an arcade you can probably remember Top Skater blaring over the deafening bleeps and bloops with a fully licensed soundtrack (uh, 5 songs) from Pennywise. With a single cashed check, these mighty Warped Tour veterans proudly represented skate culture… while simultaneously alienating it for selling out to the Sonic suits. We call that a Punk Rock Paradox.


Above: “The most addictive game ever” At a dollar a minute, you’d better hope so


Thrasher Magazine and Rockstar Games? Should’ve been a match made in Sk8 Heaven, right? The critics were kind, but the public… not so much. Released in the wake of the original Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater, gamers overlooked Skate and Destroy’s then “technically superior,” sim focus and difficult learning curve, somewhat understandably. (And that’s saying nothing of its sucka free hip-hop soundtrack, featuring Public Enemy, A Tribe Called Quest and Afrika Bambaataa!)


Above: Poor character model, or the first groundbreaking appearance by a topless shemale?

Buttons reserved for damage-minimizing tucks and landing ollies proved too complicated, especially when compared to Hawk’s instantly adaptable ease of play. Breakable boards, heightened ragdoll physics and bizarre modes involving being chased by a police officer (viewed from the cop’s POV?) differentiated Thrasher:SaD plenty, even if they couldn’t stave off retail damnation.


Above: Bro vs Taser ‘99


Yet another EA contribution to the skateboarding’s digital graveyard. But there’s something about that 8 in the title that lets you know this time… they meant business. Street Sk8er may’ve been the first PSX game dedicated exclusively to skating, but that apparently wasn’t enough to rescue it from the relative obscurity it enjoys today.


Above: Pop Quiz! What game is this?

In terms of gameplay, Street Sk8er borrowed heavily from the Sega’s successful Top Skater coin-op. Although perhaps, we should say too heavily, since the developers wrongly assumed home console users would put up with replaying a pithy handful of levels over and over again. Even if the trick system can loosely be considered a predecessor to the Tony Hawk series, the papercraft character models did little to bolster the Sk8er’s appeal. We suppose we should acknowledge the inclusion of two-player point duels… so there ya go! You’re dismissed now, Street Sk8er.

By all accounts Street Sk8er 2 improved greatly over its predecessor with souped up graphics, four-player support, enhanced level design and a better balance of racing and tricks could now be enjoyed by all. And that would’ve mattered, had the game managed to distinguish itself from the 70 other skate games and not get trounced at retail by Tony Hawk 2 several months later. For all it did right, Street Sk8er 2 will be remembered for little more than appearing in this feature. And that’s a fate we wish on no game.


Above: Now that’s ugly you can set your watch by


Grab the reigns of Andy MacDonald and several other Not Ready for Tony Time Players, and power through THQ’s steaming digital dump of a T-Hawk imitator. Even while grifting the Birdman’s button-scheme, Mr MacDonald’s pale comparison suffered from an abysmal framerate, character animations that rejected any logical human interaction and a grind feature that was more bail than rail.


Above: Worse than it looks

What exactly did MTV bring to the party? Why, a timeless soundtrack featuring unforgettable musical combos like Goldfinger, Flash Point and the Pulitzer Prize winning pot ensemble, Cypress Hill. For each failure in the musical department the oxymoronic cable outlet made up for it by thrusting its logo into your eyelids whenever possible, most notably in the MTV Hunt challenge, where players quest to find MTV logos scattered through the level.


If you’re one of those types who holds a monk-like faith in review scores, then it should be noted that Grind Session enjoyed some glowing critical accolades during its brief year of relevance. But you’re probably not that kind of person, and you’d rather remember this imposter as the shittiest crap that ever sucked… even if it isn’t.


Above: A worthy wannabe that never got to be

Grind Session was lauded for it cut-above course design, as well as unique additions like the Tech Lines that provided a visual hint of lines to run, and the Skater’s Eye, a first-person view that can be accessed at any time. And if imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Neversoft got the message loud and clear. Grind’s developer, Shaba Games, has since been brought under the Activision umbrella and worked on several quality Tony Hawk titles.

We Recommend By ZergNet

37 comments

  • Javv - August 16, 2010 2:08 a.m.

    how dare you say bad things about espn extreme games? i still play that thing in my ps1 go cash course!
  • thochaos - January 24, 2009 4:16 a.m.

    I used to play the shit our of the 2xtreme demo. And also California Games on the Master System.
  • BenitoMasterSystem - January 24, 2009 2:59 a.m.

    i loved grind session, there i said it. Suck it internet
  • MGS4SolidSnake - January 24, 2009 2 a.m.

    lol gotta love snake skateboardibg
  • mozaralio - January 23, 2009 3:44 a.m.

    The only reason i read this whole damn article is becuase I wanted to see Snake skateboarding truthfully I've only completed 2 skate board games in my life on for nintendo 64 and the other for xbox go figure?
  • freakincarl - January 23, 2009 2:55 a.m.

    i can't believe how many of these i have played. omfg the roll n rocker! i had that piece of dung. it never worked right. another useless game peripheral!
  • Grossburger - January 22, 2009 7:33 p.m.

    comadore 64+california games=:)
  • gorillazbmx6 - January 21, 2009 9:49 p.m.

    i remember renting disney skateboarding game from block buster and i remember it blowing goats too
  • XplorerGT - January 21, 2009 7:16 p.m.

    '' were all gonna get layed '' LOL
  • Nitemarish - January 21, 2009 6:36 p.m.

    Urgh, I have Simpson's Skateboarding. I think I played it once, stopped, then started crying.
  • Gunslinger - January 21, 2009 4:25 p.m.

    Hot damn... I totally forgot about Simpsons Skateboarding. That really did suck, I remember thinking that, even at the age where you think every game you see is the shit. That was just shit... I feel ashamed at my lack of knowledge on old-school games.
  • Cynwyddon - January 21, 2009 2:31 p.m.

    I've somehow played like 10 of these.
  • NadaNuff - January 21, 2009 12:33 p.m.

    I remember playing Super Skateboardin'. Even worse, I remember liking it.
  • mykie - January 21, 2009 6:39 a.m.

    Allow me to introduce you to forgotten skateboard game #15, Street Surfer: http://www.lemon64.com/reviews/view.php%3Fid%3D156 Yes, I am that old.
  • Curtis_Stone - January 21, 2009 4:32 a.m.

    I had a feeling "2Xtreme" would be on the list... LOL!! Top Skater FTW!! I pumped so many $$ into that cabinet!!
  • JoeMasturbaby - January 21, 2009 3:53 a.m.

    i've played ALL the tony hawk games, handhelds included, and proving ground for ps2 was by far the shittiest of them all. im done with tony hawk for awhile. but i remember evolution skateboarding as well, it was too bad, but wasnt very smooth either.
  • ileowen - January 20, 2009 11:48 p.m.

    I refuse to be first, yet all in all a good article. God do I want Skate 2.
  • Bootsiuv - January 29, 2009 4:31 a.m.

    LMAO at T&C Surf and board or whatever the hell it is... I totally forgot that, not only did I own that game around 89', I also ENJOYED it. Aaaah, simpler 8-bit times.
  • doomdoomdoom - January 25, 2009 4:05 p.m.

    From my point of view the only good skate is skate or skate 2 all the others are ripping each other off The Easter Bunny hates you!!!
  • SheetSandwich - January 24, 2009 11:56 p.m.

    These games should have been left in the quality gutter you found them in! I remember these, and I wish I didn't.

Showing 1-20 of 37 comments

Join the Discussion
Add a comment (HTML tags are not allowed.)
Characters remaining: 5000

OR…

Connect with Facebook

Log in using Facebook to share comments, games, status update and other activity easily with your Facebook feed.