10 ways Comic-Con's hard for a Stormtrooper

Life in modern times, in a far closer galaxy isn't always easy...

Words: on July 26, 2011

The Stormtrooper has always been symbolic of everything that’s awesome about Comic-Con, but that doesn’t mean they’ve got it easy. Everybody wants a picture, you’ve got no pockets, and everybody still blames you for what happened on Alderan. We felt it important to emphasize that beneath the iconic exterior of white battle armor beats the heart of a vulnerable human being, one who’s susceptible to the same long lines, overpriced food, letdowns, and general exhaustion that any of us are.

Clones are people too, so what sucks for us can be even more hellish on them when not operating under the authority of the Galactic Empire. In order to humanize our friend the Stormtrooper, we’re counting down the difficulties we all face at San Diego’s annual pop culture throwdown. Because just like life and droids, some SDCC experiences just aren’t the ones you’re looking for.


1. Waiting in line for the bathroom

“Seriously?! Most of these people don’t even have to deal with a cod piece – Move your Bladders!”


2. Picking out a gift for your girlfriend

“Is she a size 2 or 3? Crap, I can never remember…”


3. Security does not show preferential treatment

“I swear I was just in there! Can I please just grab my laptop bag?”


4. Checking out the competition

“It’s nice, but if my boss sees me in it I could get fired.”


5. Haggling over the price of comics

“PLEASE?! I’m in this issue and I just want to show my mom.”


6. Just missing out on that last Comic-Con exclusive

“C’mon, man… I promised it to my nephew and you’re just going to put it on eBay.”


7. Crossovers can be dangerous

“I swear I’ve never even served on Asgard!”


8. Comic book elitists treat you like second class citizens

“Bro, it’s all fantasy! Why ya gotta hate?”


9. The Starbucks queue is always ridiculous

“For chrissake, I could’ve picked the beans myself by now…”


10. Old “friends” can pop up out of nowhere

“Okay, one picture, DM. What… no I don’t have any money you can borrow.”


Big thanks to Garet Jones for helping us out and contributing to the silliness. We’ll miss ya Comic-Con

Jul 25, 2011

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21 Comments
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  • soren7550

    soren7550  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    Is that Candace Bailey I see dressed up as Thor?
  • eon

    eon  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    Really funny. The last line of the intro is a classic.
  • Pytor

    Pytor  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    Very funny stuff Chris!
  • MySistersMenstruationTastesFunny

    MySistersMenstruationTastesFunny  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    Wah wah wah not about vidio gamz wah wah wah
  • philipshaw

    philipshaw  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    Classic stuff Chris
  • ShadowBroker23

    ShadowBroker23  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    You spelled Alderaan wrong... =P
  • Xtapolapopotamus

    Xtapolapopotamus  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    Starbucks queue!? I thought for a moment this was ghost written by one of the UK boys.

    WHERE'S YOUR UHMERICAN PRIDE, ANTISTA!? We say line!
  • batman5273

    batman5273  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    An absolutely hilarious pictorial!
  • juicenpancakes

    juicenpancakes  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    Kudos to Garet for being such a... wait for it... trooper.
  • garnsr

    garnsr  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    Very Robot Chicken. Hooray for GR and RC!
  • 510BrotherPanda

    510BrotherPanda  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    Hehe, nice job again, Chris! And also, thank you Garet, whoever you are! Your efforts for this article are greatly appreciated.
  • bitchassafriBLAMamericANTISTA

    bitchassafriBLAMamericANTISTA  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    TEEECHNICALLY! stormtroppers would have never met darth maul seeing as he was killed in episode one and clones were introduced in episode two.
  • GAYMER

    GAYMER  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    Haha that was great, pic #6 made my day.
  • kingsmikefan

    kingsmikefan  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    That was funny.
  • moan4stalone

    moan4stalone  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    Pic number three looks like the main guy from eastbound and down!
  • BluegrassSmoker

    BluegrassSmoker  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    To funny. I'm 100% seeing you guys out there next year. Buying my badge as soon as It goes on sell.
  • Stabby_Joe

    Stabby_Joe  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    Now I expect that Mario doll to on ebay ASAP, Chris!
  • Epyon_761

    Epyon_761  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    "Because just like life and droids, some SDCC experiences just aren’t the ones you’re looking for."

    Gold
  • roberttautiaga

    roberttautiaga  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    Tell me why that guy in the security picture has the same hair as Danny McBride in Pineapple Express.
  • natehubes

    natehubes  - 9 months, 3 weeks ago  - Report

    You did it again Chris you made me burst out laughing.
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