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10 games that need the Mega Man 9 treatment

What we want:

To make up for:
Phantasy Star Universe - 64 (Metacritic)
Phantasy Star Online Episode III: C.A.R.D. Revolution - 71 (Metacritic)

We had wanted to joke about how people are no longer interested in the Phantasy Star Universe series, but its newest incarnation is currently tearing ass through Japanese PSPs. So, it stands to reason that the Phantasy Star name still means something to gamers, whether you’ve enjoyed the online direction of the series or not. Barring plenty of shutdowns, many official servers are still chugging along (thanks in no small part to a monthly charge, magically lifted from your wallet whether you’re playing or not.)


Above: Ummm... Phantasy Star?

But how about instead of milking consumers who’ve forgotten to cancel their subscriptions, what if Sega went for the ethical buck and made us the 16-bit sequel that’s over a decade late? If you’re going to play the Keeping-up-with-the-SquEnix’s game, Sega’s got to give gamers a little bit of old school loveage in addition to every pseudo-sequel and semi-follow up. In other words: Make an actual RPG!

There are more than a few of us who’d rather play through an epic RPG storyline than toil through futuristic drudgery while shouting directions at online imbeciles we can’t get through the game without. Not that you need to ignore group participation entirely. Who’s to say that team-up Macros from IV couldn’t be carried out by another person through a dollop of online co-op? Probably you, ‘cause it’s damn sure not us.

What we want:

To make up for:
Blaster Master 2 - 60% (GameRankings)
Blaster Master: Blasting Again 74% (GameRankings)

By far one of the most treasured titles from the glory days of the NES. Roving tank whoopin’s, futuristic guns, “dungeon” crawling, massive bosses - the original Blaster Master seemingly had it all. Then lost a little of “it” with its Genesis sequel, and abandoned “it” all together with the PSX’s Blaster Master: Blasting Again.

Above: The PS remake can be yours, starting at an asking price of 20 cents

C’mon, Jason Frudnick! For old time sake: Follow that frog into cave, hop in SOFIA and give us an overworld to tool around in, and at least eight levels top-down too futuristic to be called “dungeons.” And as long as we’re using Mega Man 9 as a template, we demand you leave in at least one instance of the “Pause to Kill” glitch that lets a grenade detonate continuously in the face of certain bosses when the game is paused, (for massive damage, natch) making it one of the best, and unsportsmanlike, cheats of all time.


Above: Dun-Dudda-Dudda-Dudda...

What we want: Defender 3

To make up for:
Defender (2002) - 69
Defender (XBLA) - 58


Above: You had your chance

You could argue that Defender’s already had its shot at contemporary relevance, to no avail. The 2002 update was like a sharp, 3-D stick in the eye for classic gamers, and the faithful XBLA port left critics saying “That’ll do, pig.” However, as much as those updates failed to reignite the flames of passion, a super-simple, balls-to-the-barbeque sequel could be just what the dentist ordered.

Here’s our pitch: Vomit as many candy-colored pixels onto screen as our HD signal will allow. Keep the rainbow laser alone, but feel free to add in more weapons. Throw in some smarter, possibly gender specific, refugees and most importantly, ease gamers into the notoriously steep difficulty. After all, your target audience is so old now they’re practically arthritic. Then make a check out to “GamesRadar: The Official Website of the Internet” and you’re welcome!

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11 comments

  • Ariaka - March 19, 2011 9:29 p.m.

    Irony in seeing Sonic 4 now, and the fan-hate...
  • GamesOgre - September 29, 2009 2:35 a.m.

    As a retro video game collector, I'm all about old school. I have to hand it to developers when they're able to do an old game justice with a modern sequel. This is obviously dicey ground. Cheers to vintage gaming!
  • MillsAnimation - September 3, 2008 10:10 p.m.

    "Go stand in the corner, Sega!" - CLASSIC!! Ha ha ha! I dunno I guess I would love to see a sequel to Chrono Trigger or hell I would be happy with Radical Dreamers in actually RPG form or CHrono Cross in 8-bit form!
  • sdcazares1980 - September 2, 2008 2:12 a.m.

    Oh, you should've added Mortal Kombat on the list. Keep the running, but add the Netherworld backgrounds too it as well.
  • sdcazares1980 - September 2, 2008 2:11 a.m.

    I prefer to give DK the Game Boy treatment. You know, with more than 100 levels, more variety, and of course Mario not dying by fall off only one story (that just made the game a bit too hard).
  • EffinChrys - September 22, 2009 1:42 a.m.

    6 words and two numbers: SONIC. MUTHAFU**IN. FOUR.
  • BeastXIII - September 23, 2009 8:50 a.m.

    Ninjas - the other Mothra.... that just made me laugh my ass off and it deserves my absolute first post on GR... even if it is an older article... what can I say, downloaded every tdar and am now delving into some classic GR... you guys are fuckin' awesome, keep up said awesomeness
  • Styrophoamicus - March 5, 2009 9:11 p.m.

    What we need is to revitalize a good old fashioned RGP; I nominate Lufia to make up for Lufia III. I also agree that Mortal Kombat needs a retro revival, and WHY OH WHY DID THEY CANCEL EARTHWORM JIM!? But Sonic is definatley the one most in need of a retro revival.
  • crazyjames - February 24, 2009 9:52 p.m.

    The Shinobi Legends FMV was sooooooo bad that they had to remove it or risk lawsuit over damaged retinas, apparently. Heh.
  • hardcore_gamer1990 - January 8, 2009 7:10 p.m.

    i still play my super metroid II (from an original gameboy cartridge) every now and then, and i just think.... I want more. I want it Next-Gen. I want it NOW! It would just be the best thing for Metroid to come back from the brink of obseleteness....
  • musashi1596 - January 5, 2009 5:57 p.m.

    What, no Golden Axe?

Showing 1-11 of 11 comments

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